Top 5 Reviews
A coalition of great minds has united once again for a common goal. Yes, a Video Game Roundtable.
||Mortal Kombat Annihilation
Let me tell you something: I think that Rayden is having a midlife crisis, which is sort of odd for an immortal. Not only that, but he is having the sort of midlife crisis where a guy bleaches his hair, becomes a vegan, and starts wearing all sorts of goofy outfits in a misguided attempt to look trendy.
Why can't he just get a Harley and a girlfriend?
Bearded Weirdo Reviews
||Super Mario Brothers
|| "If you're lucky enough to have gotten a lobotomy (or, as I like to refer to mine, a "brain piercing"), you might actually enjoy SUPER MARIO BROS. If, however, you try at all to think during the course of you watching it, you may, in fact, die. Look for something
resembling the Mario games, you die. Look for something resembling real life in any way, you die. Look for something that isn't completely ridiculous, you die. Look for something that doesn't suggest that the writers had to have been loaded up with massive amounts of sugary
candy and bad acid whilst scribbling the script onto the walls of their apartment with crayons, you die. Get the picture?"
|| "Jesus F’n Jehoshaphat! Did anyone involved with this damn film drop a single quarter into a SFII
machine…ever?! I mean here it is, several paragraphs in and all I’m talking about is how badly they screwed up
the characters." |
|Side Order of Ninjas
||Resident Evil: Apocalypse
|| "European models just need to be genetically altered to dispatch 300 pound super zombies carrying railguns with ease.. Somehow, whenever, Alice needs something she magically deus ex machinas it. She gets the super power to do something whether it
is surviving explosive shockwaves or running down the side of skyscrapers." |
||In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
|| " The idea of a more than 2 hour Uwe Boll movie was exciting. Most reviewers had already torn Boll apart as if he were the 2nd coming of Ed Wood with a generous dash of Arch Hall Sr thrown in for good measure. By, the time I finally had seen House of the Dead, I had been insultated by a plenty of bad and B-movies. The best thing to say is this movie is better than any of the Sci-Fi Channel (never accept their phonetically disturbed new name that sounds identical to the old one) original movies. Bad giant killer shark movies with the main character who is someone with a career that fell after one guest appearance on an Aaron Spelling drama of the 1990s isn't exactly a gold star."