UltraViolet (2006)

Cast:

Milla "Alice, the zombie-dog kicker from Resident Evil" Jovovich is Violet
Cameron "I was Leech in the X-Men: the Last Stand?" Bright is Six
Nick "Don't blame me for being in Wyvern" Chinlund is Daxus
William "How'd I fall from Virtuosity to this?" Fichtner is Garth

What the box says:

Milla Jovovich (Resident Evil, the Fifth Element), Cameron Bright(X-Men 3), Nick Chinlund (Legend of Zorro), and William Fichtner (The Longest Yard) star in this story of a woman caught in a futuristic civil war between the government and a subculture of disease-modified humans in whom speed, strength, and intelligence are magnified. To protect a young boy who has been marked for death, she must fend off the human government.

Plot:

Violet begins with her narration. Suddenly, some guys dressed as ninjas attack some scientists and break into a secret lab. Some troops gun the pseudo-ninjas down, apparently, they’re hemophages. We get some more of Violet’s narration that explains a disease was modified to make super soldiers with heightened speed strength, healing, etc but with a thirst for blood, hence vampires. Violet was infected and sent to a camp after escaping thus the vampire resistance began.

Dr. Daxus, head of the bureau of medicine or whatever it is called, is planning on wiping out the vampires.

A courier arrives at the bureau and is scanned.

Somehow Imperial Storm Troopers don't look quite as ridiculous compared to the Gas-masked clad troops..

How else are you going to force people to watch new sitcoms?

The doctors brief her about how she must carry the biological weapon before giving it to her. Outside, the real courier arrives. Let the slow-motion Matrix fight ensue between everyone and Violet before she escapes.

Violet bikes away by even riding up the side of a building and contending with pursuers and choppers.

Eventually, she is on the way to the base. Leader vampire orders her to destroy the case. Troops are still searching for her. Outside the base, she curiously opens the case and discovers a boy inside it. Reports to the leader about the boy, he doesn’t care. Apparently, the kid’s blood is a biological weapon that can destroy all the hemophages.

Violet leaves the case before Leader shoots the kid. However, she hid the kid outside first. Suddenly, another vampire gang attacks Violet with a slow-motion bullet-fu battle. How can 10 vampires resist the leather-clad bare-midriff Milla Jovovich? Apparently, they can’t. Kid stands on the edge of the building, Violet is able to pull him away from the edge.

What did you say? New Coke is better than the original? Leaving the building, they get to the subway.

Violet wants the kid studied for possibly being able to cure hemophagia. She takes him to another vampire, the scientist, Garth.

The medical troops capture the vampire base, Daxus has the leader taken and keeps him alive for a special purpose.

Violet is slowly bonding with the kid, Six. Garth gives Violet a transfusion. The research on 6 apparently shows he has no antibodies that could kill vampires but has a tracking device in him. However, what is in him is killing him. Violet takes Six with her.

In the subway, Violet sends Six on an errand. The medical troops accidentally gun down the wrong boy. Violet spots leader kidnap Six.

Violet tracks leader down. Apparently, Six has some sort of antigen in him that is designed to kill humans. Violet engages in katana fu with leader’s vampires and rescues Six.

She calls Daxus and wants him to save Six. The good doctor refuses and reveals that Six is his clone.

Violet drives up to face Daxus and his troops. Daxus plans on using the antigen to wipe out many humans so the survivors will have to bow down to his rule. He orders his troops to mow down Violet and learns she’s a hologram projection.

Lets give 'em a good 210 gun salute at their car!!!

Cut to Violet and Six at a playground? Troops and Daxus take Six and shoot Violet.

Later, Violet awakens. Garth has been trying to save her. He is sure that Six wrote down the beginnings of the cure to hemophagia earlier. Violet readies to assault Daxus and save Six. Garth is close to curing Violet.

Daxus is about to dissect Six when a thoroughly heavily armed Violet arrives in the building as she heads to the lab.

Security guards never get a chance to search Milla Jovovich.. Let the fight ensue and gun fu ensues, too. Violet doesn’t' stop, just keeps coming. Finally, reaching the lab, she’s about to handle Daxus and learns that he’s actually a vampire. In the dark, a flaming swordfight ensues when Violet finishes him.

Violet revives Six. She is weakening. Six claims he can cure her; apparently, the vampire cure was developed in the same lab as he was developed. Leaving the lab, we get another Violet narration about the cure and how those that profit from tyranny will have to watch for her…

What I say:

I'm not sure if I could believe the great philosphers, Timbuk-3, about the future being so bright I gotta wear shades. However, the future thankfully is not the post-apocalyptic style of the killer robots of Terminator or cars battling for the a few drops of gas to keep traveling such as in Mad Max. The future has Milla Jovoich walking around in tight leather and beating people. That may not be quite the rosy, optimistic future of Star Trek. But, how can you complain about it provided the sword doesn't impale you?

Have to admit, I've never seen Kurt Wimmer's Equilibrium. Heard about the stylized fight scenes that do seem so Matrix style action without quite all the bullet-time POV shots. Wait, but with more gun fu...

Vampires in the future are more sci-fi oriented whether they're in spaceships in Dracula 3000 or the vampire santiation crew in Vampire Wars. For all the vampire mentioning, it is only mentioned as a disease or the pseudo-scientific term hemophagia a couple of times. The whole bit about vampires is a little hard to follow considering they are only mentioned about having transfusions a couple of times. Vampires that don't suck blood. These aren't your parent's Draculas.

Milla Jovovich seemed to be in the occasional sci-fi movie in The Fifth Element. She moved into the realm of video game movies with Resident Evil and its sequels. Now, her bare midriff clad self just is chased around before she beats them with guns, swords, or kung fu. Milla as a pouty hot chick in leather with a sword running around fighting does sound like Kill Bill when not shooting gas-masked stormtroopers.

What's with vampire chicks in wearing leather? Vaguely similar to Kate Beckinsale in Underworld. Though the one big known thing is that UltraViolet came out about the same time as the Charlize Theron epic Aeon Flux. Hopefully, my faithful ten of readers, your sarcasm gland allowed you to pick that up. If not consult your local sarcasmologist immediately...Heard a joke that you could watch half of UltraViolet and the other half of Aeon Flux and it would make more sense than either of those whole movies.

Main character that inadvertently gets emotionally attached to a kid to save them from hordes of evil goons. That sounds very similar to the Professional. Never thought I'd be compairing Milla Jovovich with Jean Reno. Granted with her, they did everything but just scream "maternal instinct." Her character lost her baby when infected with the vampire disease.

This is one of movies you can almost time that beween every 5 and 10 minutes a fight will break out. Besides the Kill Bill sword fighting, one woman versus the disposable army. UltraViolet comes close enough to ripping off the Tron lightcycle racing. A motorcycle may not have left a colored trail but defying gravity seems fair enough to count it.

We get the dictatorship from V For Vendetta, the whole fear everyone bit to control the country or the world. Everyone wanders around with surgical masks, nose plugs, or the gaurds that look like Imperial Stormtroopers but with gas-mask helmets. Who'd have thought of a evil medical dictatorship that battles against vampirism?

It's not saying much but at least UltraViolet makes more sense than the 2nd and 3rd Matrix movies. UltraViolet doesn't try to beat you over the head with symbolism so the director can say how it is a triumph of human heart with artsy notions.

Quotable Dialogue
"Remove your head covering."
"It's a weapon and a child."
"It's a nice view, huh?"
"I may have quirks."
"A vampire and dying human child."
"Number of weapons found...many...."
Morals of the Story
The future is based on old comic book covers.
All motorcycle couriers have bare midriffs.
Future oppressive leaders have English accents.
Vampires are better stunt bikers than Evel Knievel.
Vampires defy gravity.
In the future, all humans have germaphobia.
Spitting at your opponent is a sign of respect in sword fighting.