Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001)

Cast:

Michael "Better living through superior firepower..." Gross is Burt Gummer
Shawn Christian is Desert Jack Sawyer
Susan Chuang is Jodi Chang
Robert "I was in Night of the Demons 2?" Jayne is Melvin Plug
Charlotte "I was the teacher from Little House on the Prarie?" Stewart is Nancy Sterngood
Ariana "I was in Angus" Richards is Mindy Sterngood
Tony Genaro is Miguel

What the box says:

Burt Gummer has been away from home too long. Upon returning to Perfection, Nevada, he realizes that the town of terror has been turned into a tourist trap exploiting the town's reputation as the home of giant killer sand worms. When a simulated attack becomes the real thing, Gummer dons combat gear, loads of ammo and weaponry, and his Atlanta Hawks cap to go back into battle against the very creatures that originally drove him away. Not only does he have to deal with Graboids mutating into the frightening Shrieker monsters, but this time a new, possibly indestructible worm mutation is threatening. Michael Gross reprises his role as the gruff Gummer.

Plot:

In Argentina, Burt Gummer is Graboid hunting. The shriekers strike but Burt is a master of Gatling Gun Fu…

Later, in Perfection, Burt returns home. He spots a real estate in town before returning to his home which is still prepared for a Graboid attack. Burt meets with Miguel and Jodi who runs her grandfather’s, Walter Chang’s, general store. Desert Jack runs Graboid tours for tourists.

Honey, get a picture of me with the Shai Hulud... His partner, Buford, fakes an approaching Graboid attack of Jack’s jeep.

Jack finally meets Burt who isn’t impressed with him.

Later, Jack runs another tourist group. Buford and Mindy are out to do another Graboid attack when a real Graboid gets Buford. Mindy is able to get away.

Burt uses the warning siren when his Graboid detector goes off. Jack’s group and Mindy get back to town. Burt has only detected 3 Graboids and wants to hunt them down before they turn into shriekers. However, some government officials arrive to protect the Graboids and warn Burt not to hunt them.

Later, Burt sees a Graboid near his property. Everyone is trapped and can’t leave. The government men will try to trap the Graboids. Jack is able to convince the government guys to allow Burt to hunt them if he can catch a live one.

A scientist finds a Graboid egg which is 300 years old.

Melvin, the snotty kid from the original, is the guy who owns the real estate office. Burt refuses to sell his property.

A Graboid attacks and eats Burt. He radios Jack who is able to lure the Graboid into running into Burt’s underground barrier. Jack uses a chainsaw to cut Burt free.

Ash could have done that with only one hand...		Thanks for not sneezing when using the chainsaw.
	Let me have a little dignity.

The dying government scientist is found and tells the townsfolk the other government men were eaten.

Burt starts searching for the shriekers and finds more than expected. One Graboid, El Blanco, has Burt, Miguel, Jack, and Jodi trapped overnight. In the morning, they use a radio to lure him away. They’re able to load for bear with Burt’s guns and decide to go after the shriekers. They find some shrieker skins. They find Burt’s truck was destroyed.

Rarrrrrrrrrr, I'm a monstarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... They find something new version of the shriekers which farts to generate enough gas to fly and glide through the air.
Who knew refried beans was the true biological method? It goes after Miguel and knocks him off a cliff. Burt radios Nancy and Mindy who are in the general store about the new monsters and how Miguel died.

The new creature chases Nancy and Mindy who hide in the meat locker.

Burt, Jack, and Jodi are out of ammo. They use a mattress to hide their body heat. While walking to Burt’s house, they decide to name the new version Ass-Blasters. Reaching Burt’s house, the ABs attack the house. Burt, Jack, and Jodi get to the panic room. Taking the escape tunnel, Burt activates his self-destruct to keep the Abs from reaching all the stashed MREs. Let the massive explosion ensues.

Nancy radios Burt that feeding the Abs will put them to sleep.

There are 4 more ABs. Jack, Burt, and Jodi hide under a boat to reach a junkyard.

The ABs follow them. Burt, Jack, and Jodi hide in an outhouse. Jack realizes they’ve got to ignite the ABs and can take care of them with a potato gun. They split up to get the components: pipes, rags, etc. Starting to put the potato gun together. The ABs head for them. A potato gun and down to 2 ABs left. Another potato gun blast and only 1 AB left. The last AB dodges the shot.

El Blanco are after them. Burt realizes it after his watch. Too Dark To See. He tosses his watch for the AB to eat and El Blanco eats it.

Later, Nancy is taking deals for the AB she caught and sells it to Sigfried and Roy. Jack stops by Jodi’s shop. He is all rico suavay and takes Jodi on a ride.

Burt is luring El Blanco with a remote control truck when Melvin pulls up. El Blanco takes the truck. Burt explains to Melvin as long as El Blanco is alive Melvin can’t build his real estate subdivision. Everyone in Perfection will have better warning devices and radios to keep safe from El Blanco. Burt leaves Melvin on a rock and drives away.

What I say:

Great suffering, Shai-Hulud!!! (Got to use every of Frank Herbert Dune jokes) The worm has turned again or returned. I had thought about trying to do theme month of the Tremors movies. But, to time the month just right. Figure it is better to just split it up and do one scattered about just in case my ten of fans don't want a month of man-eating worm movies. 1990 gave us one of great monster movies, Tremors. How great? Enough, to start doing direct-to-video sequels like Tremors 2: Aftershocks and even a Sci-Fi channel series.

Tremors 3: Back to Perfection is the movie that wants to congratulate the fans for watching it. Returning to Perfection which is now a tourist trap. We have several characters from the original movie returning: Melvin(who's moved from being an annoying kid to being a sleazy real-estate agent), Miguel, and Nancy and her grown up daughter, Mindy. Earl (Remo Williams) and Grady (the guy from the second movie) are mentioned after their exploits with the shriekers. Jodi is Walter's granddaughter. Nestor, the old man who climbed up the pole to keep from getting eaten by the Graboid in the original, is even mentioned.

Too many movies show that being the gun-toting nutjobs in the middle of nowhere will be the first to die...It's a good thing to realize the truth of better living through superior firepower. Where are you going to get superior firepower in the middle of the Southwest? Only around the most paranoid conspiracy-theory nut. Of course, the term "nut" is defined as in the Reggie designing the quad-barelled shotgun from Phantasm 2 or Ash's cyborg hand and chainsaw attachment in Evil Dead 2. While Bert may not have anything that flashy but designing an escape tunnel for an underground bunker along with a self-destruct is definitely B-movie Combat Engineering.

Giant worms, shriekers, and finally the methane-emitting gliders of this movie. I get the feeling that any cryptozoologists or xenobiologists wouldn't be too impressed with the fart flying monsters. The Tremor worms are always evolving unlike the Crites in Critters. The Crittrs are either rabid porcupine-Tribbles or bipedal that grow when eating. I'm not counting the giant super-ball of angry pseudo-Tribbles that roll around at the end of Critters 2.

Quotable Dialogue
"Well, time is an eternal river."
"It's a natural part of our symbiotic relationship."
"And people call me paranoid."
"Call me, Ischmael."
"You do what you do best. Find something simple and make it complicated."
"Sounds like a porno film."
"Oh yeah, I'm a masterpiece of self-destruction."
"We're screwed in an outhouse?"
Morals of the Story
Duct tape patches jeans.
Sliding over a truck hood in Dukes of Hazzard fashion is stylish.
Chainsaws are effective surgical weapons.
Cardboard boxes can hide body heat.
MacGyver episodes can save your life.