Terror in Tiny Town (1938)

Cast:

Billy "Mordecai the midget from High Plains Drifter" Curtis is Buck Lawson
Yvonne Moray is Nancy Preston
'Little Billy' Rhodes is Bat Haines
Billy Platt is Jim 'Tex' Preston
John T. Bambury is The Ranch Owner

What the box says:

A musical western with an all-midget cast. They just don't make 'em like this anymore (whew!).

Plot:

This is the first all midget Western.

I'll kick you in the shins if you sing Randy Newman's 'Short People.'
This movie is very proud to announce it has a total midget cast.

In the Town, the blacksmith fu is watched.

Mr. Lawson and his son Buck head out to look for missing cattle.

Bat Hanes and his goons are branding cattle. They get chased off by Buck. He informs dad about the branding iron from the other local rancher, Tex Preston.

Bat plans to have the Lawsons fight the other ranchers.

Town, Tex Preston heads to pick up his newly arriving niece, Nancy.

Bar, Bat wants to start a range war between the ranchers and he wants the sheriff not to get involved.

A saloon singer and a one-eyed midget...

Inna-gadda-Da-Vita..... Barbershop quartet fu, verbal battle between Tex and Lawson ensues.

The goons are after the stage. Buck chases them. Shoot out, and a runaway stage that must be stopped. Buck is to the rescue and stops the coach. Buck casts eyes at Nancy.

Bat plans to incite more trouble.

Sheriff is chewed out for not defending the townsfolk by Buck.

Bat plans to eliminate Buck very soon.

Tex wants to fight the Lawsons.

Nancy heads out for a ride and secretly meets Buck. She even wants to get married. However, Buck wants to end the range war first.

Lawson finds out about Buck and Nancy. He doesn’t cotton to any Prestons. According to Genesis, Buck is no son of his…

Bat tells Tex about Nancy the Buck. Later, Buck rides up and convinces Tex to talk with him. Buck is sure somebody is playing both ranches off each other. About the time Tex agrees, Bat snipes him from a Bette Midler distance…

Bat claims that Buck shot Tex. The cowboys are in hot pursuit. Nancy is angry and believes that Buck shot her uncle.

Bar, Bat wants the Sheriff to arrest Buck for Tex’s death.

You're not being charged by the swallow.

Nancy is pretty distraught when Buck rides in. He is sure that Bat killed Tex.

In town, the sheriff arrests Buck.

Nancy decides she’ll run the ranch. Bat wants to marry her and claims that her uncle owed him money.

In the bar, the showgirl is sick of Bat walking on her. Bat starts the lynch mob to get rid of Buck.

Nancy rides out to get help for Buck who is in jail.

The lynch mob heads to the jail when the Lawsons ride in.

The sheriff tries to help Buck. However, Bat shoots him before escaping. Lawson free Buck who heads after Bat. The mortally wounded sheriff admits Bat was after everything. .

Horse race pursuit, the showgirl reaches Bat’s secret cabin and plants some dynamite. Buck wings Bat and then the fist fight ensues.

The posse head on. Buck heads out of the cabin when Nancy yells for him.

Bat is about to snipe Buck when the stock footage explosion ensued. Buck and Nancy embrace and swap spit.

What I say:

When the B-movie fans starts to get jaded, thinking there is nothing new under the sun, and how it's all been done before, what is there to watch? No matter what you think, there is only a finite number of movies in existence. However, just with a few combinations, so many movie B-Movies can be made. Putting midgets or dwarves into movies can do some pretty amazing things...I've been trying to hunt down a copy of the Filipino midget spy movie, For Your Height Only. However, there are far more ideas than just that...

A midget Western? I've known about Terror in a Tiny Town for years. It may be the only Midget Western movie that was used for a country music video: Hal Ketchum's "Small Town Saturday Night." However, with the way all Political Correctors must destroy all humor because it's not right to acknowledge people's differences. OK, I promise to get off my soapbox. Still this movie should drop any PC-ite into some coma after seeing it.

The best way to explain this movie is it has an all midget cast. The actors played the script completely straight. However, if you can get past the sight gags of the cast riding Shetland ponies or walking under the saloon swinging doors, you're not going to have many gags to laugh at. The set is regular sized. The cast rides Shetland ponies. You see the cast standing halfway up if there's a door in the background. Just taking a regular sized Western set and take the typically derivative Western script and add midgets. The same idea was used for other ethnic groups. Back when theaters were segregated, several movies were basically made just using the typical Western script and since they had a set, an already built Western town. It wasn't hard to make a new version with another cast.

The director, Sam Newfield, had a quite a output of movies including the spy-Western movie Ghost Patrol. Whether the rumor of a sequel to Terror in Tiny Town named Hang 'Em Not So High was dropped or just a lame joke from the Clint Eastwood: Hang 'Em High, is a something I've been trying to uncover.

Quotable Dialogue
"I don't think cows quit having families."
"Give it another whoile!!!"
"I won't get shared here today. I might catch smallpox. "
"She'd of the same breed!"
"I believe you're takling horse sense."
Morals of the Story
Midget Westerns need vampires.
Midgets love to sing.
Eye patched midgets are scary.
Western towns has penguins.
Cowboys ride Shetland ponies.
Midgets play cellos.
Bartenders can drink beer mugs bigger than theyir heads.
All saloon singers have heavy German accents.