Teenage Zombies (1959)

Cast:

Don Sullivan is Reg
Katherine "I'm Batwoman!!! from the Wild Wild World of Batwoman" Victor is Dr. Myra
Steve Conte is Whorf
J.L.D. Morrison is Brandt
Brianne Murphy is Pam

What the box says:

A deranged female scientist conducting weird experiments on a remote island kidnaps teens and injects them with a formula that transforms them into zombies.

Plot:

Trippy soda shop, one kid is going horseback riding with Dot and will catch up with his friends later who head off to waterskiing and go to a small island.

Later, the 4 kids reach the island and spot some strange people, zombies. They freak out and run back for the boat but it’s gone. Searching, they find a house and run into Dr. Myra.

The teens want their boat. Dr. Myra doesn’t leave the island. Suspiciously, they are sure she is behind the missing boat.

Ivan, Myra’s zombie servant, captures the girls and then imprisons the guys. Dr Myra reveals she has the boat and the kids with her experiments.

Geek guy and Dot can’t find any of his friends. The two see the sheriff to search. Later, Geek and Dot take a boat for a search to find the island. Heading to the house, they talk to Dr. Myra who is lying suspiciously. Geek and Dot head off.

2 guys arrive on the island. They demand results from Myra. The master plan is to create slaves to control the world and bomb USA with some drug to slip into the water supply. These guys also discovered an undercover US agent and eliminated him. The plan must be implemented.

Elsewhere, various military officers have a picture of Dr. Myra and must catch agents before the slave drug is used.

Back on the island, the guys pick the cell lock. They decide to sneak off and find the boat before getting the girls loose. Later, the guys decide to build a raft. Sneaking back, they have to wait for the next night.

Land, Geek talks to the sheriff about the island and Dr. Myra. Sheriff doubts the story but is still convinced to check on the island.

Island lab, Dr. Myra has Ivan bring in the girls.

Sheriff, Morrie, and Dot head back to the island and go to the lab. Ivan gets the new teens. Sheriff is working with Dr. Myra about bringing victims to her. Men shoot Sheriff but not the deputy.

The boys fight the guys while Dot versus Myra. The girls are gassed. The boys get a gun and demand that Myra free the girls from the gas chamber. She refuses to cure them. The teens gas Myra to make her cure the girls.

Ivan staggers in, and Myra destroys the antidote. Myra has to get to the police boat before the teens reach it.

Suddenly, gorillas attack the guys? Myra is trying to get the boat started when the teens arrive and catch her.

At the police station, the teens are happy when the military arrive. Clever banter, one boy wants his boat…Awwwww, 1950s cute ending with dumb joke……..

What I say:

From the mind of Jerry "Wild Wild World of Batwoman" Warren, we get another of his "unique" movies. By "unique" I mean "bad" but not in the fashion that cool kids from the 1980s meant it. Bad as in antagonizing...We're talking near Massacre-level bad which is Kryptonite to me. How can a movie with gorillas and spies be dull? Watch this movie and the answer will be given to you if you don't beat your head against wall to knock yourself into the sweet realm of unconsciousness.

The kids with a boat and partying like in Fat Spy is not a good thing. Granted this movie isn't a repulsive as the aforementioned abomination with Phyllis Diller singing love songs about body parts and quivering loins. What song would be more terrifying than Phyllis Diller's quivering loins? There are just some questions best left unanswered...

A group of communists plan on poisoning the US water supply with a drug that will transform everyone into unthinking zombie slaves. How is that different from those who've got to watch "Must SEE TV" or those worshipping American Idol? The idea of communists trying to conquer the world may sound far-fetched nowadays. However, back in the 1950s, it was all closer to happening. I doubt that Teenage Zombies was intending to have some subtle political undertones. Well, some people see Night of the Living Dead as a racial study of the late 1960s, so anything's possible.

Those meddling kids. Those meddling kids...The 1950s saw a large increase in movies with teenagers as main characters. Why, with teens going off to movies? They wanted characters to relate to or some excuse to go parking. Low budget movies could be made fast and cheap. Roger Corman made his career from low budget horror movies. The 1950s saw tacking the word "Teenager" into a movie as hopefully of a way to attract business from the younger crowd. Just glancing off IMDB gave me a decent list of titles.

I Was a Teenage Caveman
I Was a Teenage Frankenstein
I Was a Teeange Werewolf
Teenage Bad Girl
Teenage Deliquents
Teenage Devil Dolls
Teenage Girl Gang
Teenage Monster
Teenage Thunder
Unfortunately, "Zombies" weren't as cool at that time, only 3 titles.

Kids on a mysterious island. While exploring, they run across people involved in evil schemes. If this were in color with a talking dog, you'd expect Scooby Snacks would be involved. This movie has none of raunchiness that came from its descendents from the late 1960s through the 1970s...Though, it has one of the strangeset taglines: "See Teenage Girls Thrust Into the Weird Pulsating Cage of Horror!". That tagline alone sounds far more intersting than the movie.

Quotable Dialogue
"It's make a crazy spot for beach parties."
"What kind of freak joint is this?"
"I was never one to complain about simple problems."
Morals of the Story
Zombies stagger to ominous music.
Motor boats commonly operated by men wearing business suits.
Teens have excellent geographic senses.
Hermits that live on abandoned islands aren't suspicious.