Spirit (2008)

Cast:

Gabriel "Co-starred with Kate Beckinsale in Whiteout" Macht is Denny Colt
Eva "Ghost Rider is a more " Mendes is Sand Saref
Scarlett "8 Legged Freaks sounds more dramatic..." Johannson is Silken Floss
Samuel L. "Mace Windu" Jackson is the Octopus

What the box says:

Above shadowy, crime-infested streets a masked avenger watches. Denny Colt (Gabriel Macht) was one of Central City's finest cops until a gangster's bullet endded his life. Now Fate has brought him back from the beyond as The Spirit, a street-hardened hero who faces off against seductive foes like the voluptuous Sand Saref (Eva Mendes) and the alluring Silken Floss (Scarlett Johansson). Then, of course ther's his evil archenemy, The Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson), with a mission to wipe out Spirit's beloved city as he pursues his own version of immortality in this graphic action-thriller!

Plot:

The Spirit, a business-suited, domino-masked man, gets a tip about some crime tonight by the Octopus's gang.

Superheroes don't always need capes. However, some need red neckties...
He heads oout on the way and stops some lady from being mugged.

The Spirit finds the Octopus. Let the fight ensue... Both are pretty punch-drunk afterwards. Octopus escapes. The Spirit starts to recover due to his healing factor. At the crime scene, Spirit finds an old locket that belonged to his his ex-girlfriend as a teenager, Sand Saref...This makes him realize she is somehow involved in the crime.

Elsewhere, Octopus is fairly angry that vase he planned to steal was taken from him by Sand Saref. He wants the vase with the blood of Heracles and must keep it from falling into teh hands of the Spirit.

Sand realizes that she stole the vase. However, she wanted the Golden Fleece.

Doctor Dolan checks on the Spirit. Commissioner Dolan briefs Spirit on a new jewel thief in town, Sand Saref, and how she is implicated in a death of high dollar fence.

Octopus is experimenting in his lab.

Hey baby, wanna check out the hopping foot that'd even impress Dr. Herbert West?
He mentions that he experimented the Spirit with some healing solution.

The Spirit finds Sand Saref who doesn't realize who he is. She excapes...

Helen Dolan and her father keep talking about Helen's dead love, Denny Colt.

Octopus catches the Spirit. The super-criminal rants about death.

Some pictures don't need any attempts at humor...
Octopus reveals that he was a city coroner and wanted to become immortal. When cop, Denny Colt, was shot and killed, the Octopus tested his healing solution on him. Denny escapes and contacts Commissioner Dolan how he'd be the hero for Central City. Octopus reveals how he wants the blood of Heracles to become a god. He and Silken Floss, his right-hand girl, explain the plan to the Spirit on how to kill him. If they cut the Spirit apart and mail the pieces long distance, the healing factor shouldn't work.

Plaster of Paris, CHOP!!!!
Plaster of Paris is talked into freeing the Spirit. They escape, and later, she stabs the Spirit and walks off... The Spirit pulls out the sword and has a near-death experience.

At the hospital, the Spirit wakes up. He wants to get the Octopus.

"Listen Maverick. You're cashing checks your body can't write...Sorry, been watching Top Gun..."

Sand and Silken meet to trade the vase and fleece. Octopus pops up before the Spirit arrives.

That's it!!!I'm gonna go medieval on all these snakes...
Octopus opens fire on the Spirit while the police watch from a distance. The cops let loose the heavy duty firepower on the Octopus. Sand is hiding behind the Golden Fleece. Octopus grabs the vase of blood when Sand shoots it. The Spirit reveals he was wearing a bullet-proof vest to help his healing factor. He pulls a grenade to finish off the Octopus. Sand uses the fleece to protect the Spirit from the explosion that dispatches the Octopus.

Spirit and Sand are all kissieface before separating. She finally learns that the Spirit was Denny.

Spirit heads into the city and monlogues about his love of the city.

Silken Floss find a fragment of the Octopus, and decides to start again...

What I say:

Can't deny my comic-book geekiosity that does have a bit of comic-strip geekiosity, too. Yes, I could link all my comic book movie reviews but decided to post the more alternative comic ones: Astroesque and G-Men From Hell. Well, the 1940s and 1950s saw Will Eisner's character, the Spirit, in newspaper comic strips and comics. The mid 1980s saw a TV-movie version of the Spirit starring Sam J. Jones (yes, the early 1980s Flash (Ah-Ah) Gordon...). The Spirit sounds more like Dick Tracy without the Frank Miller powerup...A guy in business suit with a domino mask has a healing factor like Wolverine, jumps around a city like Daredevil and Batman.

Frank Miller should better be known for his comic book work including Dark Knight Returns. A couple of his works have been adapted into movies the past few years: 300 and Sin City. The past few years, he co-directed Sin City. Well, the Spirit was his first solo directing opportunity. Obviously, he needed some more experience before such a big box movie.

If one thought Superman and Clark Kent were hard not to recognize, Denny Colt and the Spirit have a small domino mask keeping the face from being identified. Dr. Helen couldn't recognize the difference between Denny and the Spirit. Finally, Lois Lane has someone to feel that has a harder time than her.

If you thought Samuel L. Jackson screamed crazy in Snakes on a Plane. Mace Windu played the Octopus like a sanity-deprived fecal domiciled rodent. Well, in the Spirit, he rants about his fear of free-range chickens. The goth-death scene had him dressed as a Nazi. Quentin Tarrantino would tell him to calm down just a hair...The Octopus is a crime boss who wants more power is understandable. However, a villain wanting to become an immortal god almost sounds like something out of Highlander.

Monologuing from the Incredibles taught us talking to oneself normally always gets one to either reveal their secret plans. Half of the monologues come from the Spirit sound like a 1940s Crime Noir PI with his love of the city or the Angel of Death.

This movie has plenty of actresses that do not sore the eyes. Eva Mendes, Scarlett Johanasson, Paz Vega, Jaime King, Stana Katic...Most of these women throw themselves at the Spirit so much James Bond would want to learn the Spirit's secrets.

This is isn't a Battlefield Earth bad which may be the highest compliment to this movie. B-movies are automatically thought more as low-budget and bad, rather than the big-budget train wreck types. The entire Green-screen used in this movie makes it look too much like Sin City. Who else was expecting to see Marv walk by?

Quotable Dialogue
" My city, I can not deny her. My city screams. She is my mother. She is my lover, and I am her Spirit. "
"You give me a headache, Octopus."
"Come on! Toilets are always funny!"
"I'm gonna kill you all kinds of dead."
"You will believe a man can't fly."
"Dental and Nazi. Great."
"I'm the Octopus, I got eight of everything."
Morals of the Story
Samuel L. Jackson has a phobia of free range chickens.
Criminal goons should have their names on their shirts for ID.
Criminal masterminds don't give health insurance to their employees better known as goons.
Talking to a cat is considered a normal conversation.
City people don't consider wearing domino masks unusual.