Slither (2006)

Cast:

Nathan "Between Firefly and Castle aren't I heroic enough?" Fillion is Bill Pardy
Gregg "Quit the John Carpenter Thing MacReady jokes..." Henry is Jack MacReady
Elizabeth "Miss Brant on the Spiderman movies isn't known for a big role" Banks is Starla Grant
Tania Saulnier is Kylie Strutemyer
Dustin Milligan is Drawing Boy
Michael "Replacement Killers didn't have me with any tentacles popping out of my chest." Rooker is Grant Grant

What the box says:

Prepare yourself for this terrifying, twisted, and chilling film that critics are calling "the most entertaining horror movie in years" (St. Louis Post-Dispatch).

From the writer of 2004's Dawn of the Dead comes the deliciously demented story of an unnamed evil wreaking havoc on a small town. Intent on devouring all life on Earth, this dark force is infecting anyone in its path. Now, it's up to the local sheriff, Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillion, Serenity), and his team to stop the spread of rampant devestation - and shocking mutilation - before it'stoo late.

Plot:

A meteor crashes in the woods near Wheelsy, a small town that is just about to start its deer hunting season. Starla Grant, is a teacher, married to Grant Grant, her nasty foul-mouthed husband. That night, Grant leaves Starla after an arguement. At a bar, Grant picks up Brenda. They head into the woods and, the meteor shoots some organic dart into his chest which goes into the brain. Returning home, Starla and Grant make up. He starts craving raw meat and buys it from the grocery store.

Grant has tentacles sprouting from his chest.

If you have any tentackles errupting from your chest and start craving raw meat, you really need to see a medical professional. He manages to hold them in check from devouring Starla. However, he's not quite that good in holding back from devouring the neighborhood pets.

Sheriff Bill Pary is pining away for Starla.

Why do you think I resemble Captain Mal...? I'm Sheriff Bill....

Grant stops by Brenda's place and infects her. Later, he takes her a deserted barn and brings her raw meat.

Grant looks more and more diseased. Starla is more and more concerned with how bad Grant looks. Starla checks in the basement and finds a number of animal bones. Unfortunately, Grant returns and chases her. The police show up and see Grant awho manages to escape from them.

After 3 days of Grant's animal hunting, Sheriff Bill arranges a posse and is convinced in letting Starla go along, too. That night during the stakeout, the snakelike Grant escapes into the woods.

Just remember that this is on the other side of that chat room... The posse find the alien-possessed queen Brenda who erupts with slugs that infect most of the posse.

Some of the slugs head for the nearest farm. Kylie, the teen girl is able to smash one of them and keep herself from being possessed. Unfortunately, her parents and kid sister aren't so lucky.

They're coming to get you, Barbara....

Bill heads off to reach his car to radio for help.

The enslugged deputies awaken and seem to be part of a hive mind of Grant. Starla and the mayor escape the enslugged ones and reach Bill and Kiley. Heading for the town, Kiley remembers some of the alien memories. A truck crashes into the police car. The enslugged ones run off with Starla and the mayor. Bill and Kiley escape.

Bill gets the idea that if he can destroy Grant, that'll eliminate all the slugged ones.

The enslugged ones tend to Starla. Bill and Kylie are searching for Starla and alien-Grant. They find the enslugged mayor and have to dispatch him.

"Baby, it's just a slight accident...I'm sure youimprove..." Starla tries calming Grant before stabbing him with a shiv. Bill and Kylie arrive and fight Grant who smacks them around. Bill opens the propane hose into Grant. Starla shoots him which blows Grant apart. All the other enslugged ones droip over. Bill, Starla, and Kylie seem to be the only ones around in the area and walk off.

What I say:

B-movies are known for either being especially unique or similar to another movie. Scream was known for setting the rules for the slasher movie. Slither has done a number of the alien invasion rules like the meteor crashing near a small town and being poked with the stick. The alien lifeform riding inside that meteor isn't normally known for being very peaceful after being poked by sticks: Blob and Blob(1988).

Slither may not have the fraternity or co-eds of Night of the Creeps. It does seem a lot like that movie with the alien slug creatures. The alien possesses the town's biggest-redneck and the bodycount ensues. This may be the only horror movie that doesn't somehow rip-off some sort of town festival according to Jaws with a mayor arguing against the head of police...

Unfortunately, Slither doesn't have the manic action of the aliens of Bad Taste or the zombie-ness of Dead Alive. Alien brain slugs that turn people into uber-carnivorous zombies that have some sort of hive memory of the alien and the first human, (Grant) it possesses.

This may sound like some sort of blasmphemy for not seeing Firefly even if I went to the theater to watch Serenity. Nathan Fillion is almost up to the rank of becoming the new Bruce Campbell not in some sort of supporting roles. He seems to have a better start-up role with Castle that has built him up.

Quotable Dialogue
"C'mon, you little varmint..."
"Meat...."
"What're you so smilin' for?"
"I reckon Grant ain't got one of them puppy calendars on his desk. Just don't strike me as a real dog lover is all."
"Let the hunt begin!"
"Grant looks like a squid, don't know where he's gonna hide... Seaworld maybe."
"Brought you munchies..."
"This is family fun day."
"I'm surprised you're able to lift a mug, you've been carrying that torch for so long."
Morals of the Story
Cops use radar guns to calculate bird speed.
Mayors commonly cuss in front of small children.
Extraterrestrial slugs love to head for human brains.
Lyme's diesease transforms you into squid monsters.
Carnivorous aliens love to listen to "Every Woman in the World to Me".