Six String Samurai (1998)

Cast:

Jeffrey Falcon is Buddy
Justin McGuire is The Kid
Kim De Angelo is Mother
Stephane Gauger is Death
Clifford Hugo is Psycho

What the box says:

The "Six-String Samurai" is Buddy, a mysterious and powerful hero of the post-apocalyptic future, who must fight his way to Lost Vegas and ditch a bothersome orphan kid if he's ever to become the next King of Rock 'n' Roll. Along the way, they encounter bounty-hunting bowlers, a cannibalistic "Cleaver" family, a Windmill God and even the Russian army. Winding up at the gates of Vegas, Buddy finds himself in an epic battle with Death over the child's soul and comes to realize just what it means to be King.

This desert spectacle of swords, adventure and rock 'n' roll wowed audiences at the Slamdance and South by Southwest festivals.

Plot:

The all-knowing screen crawl informs us that in 1957, the Cold War got very hot when the Russians launched the nukes. Elvis ruled as king in the only free bastion left in the US: Las Vegas. 40 years later, he died. Now everyone wants to be crowned the next King of Rock and Roll.

Several mutants are chasing after a kid when Samurai Buddy Holly ensues before heading on his way.

The world rejoiced for Samurai Buddy Holly.
The kid follows after his rescuer into the wastelands.

In a small town, 3 guys in bowling shirts and carrying bowling balls and pins demand Buddy's guitar. That doesn't seem conductive to Buddy's good mood. The kid gets ahold of a car and drives Buddy after the fight.

Death, the Grim Reaper comes into town is angry about Buddy killing the Bowlers, Death's men.

Slash and his Snake Pit wander the beach...

More mutants are chasing after the kid and Buddy when the car breaks down from overheating. Buddy just walks off as the kid struggles to cool off the radiator. As the mutants get close, Buddy returns to battle them.

Later, the car breaks down again. The Cleaver family greets them. The very crazy family that keeps talking about fattening the kid up, fattening up like a lamb for the slaughter. Buddy leaves the kid with them and heads off. Suddenly, the windmill people are heading for the Cleavers who drive off. It is just the kid versus the Windmill people when Buddy saves him again. They get a bike going and head off.

Elsewhere, Death proclaims he will take the Throne of Vegas to become the next King and dispatches a number of rock and rollers heading for Vegas, too.

Reaching the town of Fallout, Buddy tosses the kid aside and heads for the local saloon.

Post-apocalyptic midget priceless...
Death and his minions approach. Buddy and a saloon girl are interrupted. After Buddy kills another rocker in a fight, he decides to not even try to become King. However, the kid convinces him otherwise.

Death is pursuing Buddy and the kid. Death demands the guitar. The El Kabong ensues. The kid is trapped underground vents near the windmills. Death loses Buddy who goes to rescue the kid.

Mutants surround the kid who tries doing one of Buddy's katas before Buddy comes to the rescue again. They get away and head to Vegas.

Things are looking easier until Buddy runs into the Red Army.

N'yet Comerade, I have orders to condemski this vehicle.
Yes, Buddy Holly versus Russian commies!!! After he properly wallops the Ruskies, he is wounded, and the kid starts dragging him to Vegas.

Death and his goons find the massacred Russians. They have to get Buddy and his guitar.

Later, Buddy wakes up outside of Vegas. The goons face him. Death wants the kid's soul.

Iron Maiden's mascot Eddie better be afraid...
Buddy versus Death on dueling guitars. The goons finally shoot Buddy's back full of arrows. The kid grabs the katana and tries going after the goons. The mortally wounded Buddy heads straight for Death. The battle for it all.

The kid throws some water on Death who promptly melts away like the Wicked Witch of the West. The goons find the kid over Death and offer to be his band?

The kid takes Buddy's glasses. Later, the kid is dressed in the suit too big for him as he marches to Vegas.

I'm off to see the Wizard...

What I say:

Mixing alternate history with rock and roll? We saw what happened with Bubba Ho-Tep, the supposed secret fact that Elvis didn't die in 1977 but became an Elvis impersonator before winding up in a nursing home and battling a soul-sucking mummy. I don't think Six String Samurai will be debated in the same vein as any of the Harry Turtledove alternate history novels. In 1957, a nuclear war between the US and Russia was launched, and Elvis Presley becomes the king of Las Vegas. Viva Las Vegas.....Return of the King...The Once and Future King

Movies with annoying kids are creepy from Corey Haim in a bald cap trying to psycho-analyze Jason Voorhees, the evil child in the style of Damien: Omen 2 to whatever those annoying kids in Italian horror movies are doing. But to Six string Samurai's kid, this kid may be slightly less annoying than C-Ko from Project A-Ko but that's the closest to a compliment you'll hear about him.

Who is Death? Guns 'N Roses's Slash? When the Grim Reaper is wearing a top hat and wielding an electric guitar, how can one not consider him Slash? I'm not qualified to offer a scholarly discussion of the concepts of 1950s Buddy Holly's rock versus 1980s hair metal. I'd be amazed if this wasn't a PhD dissertation for some liberal art grad. But for me to stop agonizing some art degree graduates..

Though the hero has glasses and a suit, the Kid can't technically be Buddy Holly. The movie is set 1997, so technically, the hero isn't Buddy Holly. Well, technicalities aren't going to be nit-picky in a post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland patrolled by Russians and after Elvis ruled Las Vegas. With a movie that has a Samurai Buddy Holly battling commies to become the King of Las Vegas, exact logical consistencies acan be thrown out the window.

Los Vegas looks like the Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz. If you start Six String Samurai and time it with Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon you won't find it timing up. Strangely though, if you time this movie up with Cutting Crew's album The Scattering, it doesn't match up either. (You have to allow me to make some Cutting Crew references, it helps keep me from doing any Alannah Miles jokes for a couple of more weeks...)

Buddy Holly is one of the more famous rock singers who was taken before his time. A movie that has a Samurai Buddy Holly battling communists and the Grim Reaper who plays his guitar like Slash. Some movies need to be seen to truly appreciated. I've reviewed Dead Alive, Evil Dead 2, Streetfighter, and quite more. Hopefully, my description can exude the joy of seeing sweet 1950s rock star kung fuing commies. If not, it has to be seen to truly appreciated...

Quotable Dialogue
"Spinach monster made him eat spinach all day."
"Taggggggggggg, you're it...."
"Beware the spinach mosnter.
"The one with 4 eyes will be hard to defeat."
"If you were me, you'd be good looking..."
"All you commies step aside."
"Only one mane can kill that many Russians!"
"Bend before the ways of heavy metal!"
Morals of the Story
Racoon skin caps are styling.
Bowling pins have hidden knives.
The Grim Reaper loves shoes.
Children communicate through grunting.
Guitars can be used as pillows.
Buddy Holly can dodge arrows.