Sh! The Octopus (1937)

Cast:

Hugh Herbert is Detective Harold Kelly
Allen Jenkins is Detective Dempsey
Marcia Ralston is Vesta Vernoff
John Eldredge is Paul Morgan
George Rosener is Capt. Hook

What IMDB plot says:

Comedy-mystery finds Detectives Kelly and Dempsey trapped in a deserted lighthouse with a group of strangers who are being terrorized by a killer octopus AND a mysterious crime figure named after the title sea creature.

Plot:

At a lighthouse, Captain and Nate check things. They find Captain Hook, with the mandatory hook for a hand, the previous caretaker who is a few nets shy of a fishing cast. Nate is an artist that bought rights for the lighthouse. He finds the wallet of David Dowe Harriman. Captain and Hook leave.

Kelly and Dempsey, 2 cops, have a blowout. They hear about a $50,000 reward for the Octopus that attacked a submarine. The distraught Vesta runs into the cops. She claims her stepfather was killed at the lighthouse and an octopus is there.

Back at the lighthouse, Nate keeps hearing noises and finds a corpse hanging from the roof. An octopus arm almost gets him.

The cops start search and find the bloody corpse. Vesta is worried for her stepfather and freaks out when she sees a tentacle. The cops find Nate.

Nate is trying to protect Vesta. Hook brings in a woman.

Please don't let me star in I Know What You Did Last Summer. He is glad that Vesta’s stepfather is dead.

The cops find a hidden staircase. Hook keeps them from the staircase. The lights go out, and Hook disappears. Nanny appears.

Captain brings a note for Vesta. The cops collect everyone’s wallets. Kelly goes up the stairs before the lights go out again. He brings the body down. They discover the body was actually a dummy. Nate gets the wallets from the cops.

Octopus tentacles are all over the lighthouse. Suddenly, the lighthouse starts to get gassed. Everyone heads to the basement. Hook stays and is grabbed by the octopus.

Basement, cops find a diving suit and start searching. Nate and Vesta stay behind. Dempsey has Kelly use the suit to explore the underwater channel for an escape route. The octopus is after Kelly.

The lights go out again? Nate finds Kelly’s air hose cut. They find Hook was shot out of a submarine torpedo tube. Kelly versus the octopus who places him back in the basement.

An ominous guy threatens everyone. Nate and Hook are federal agents? Everyone goes back upstairs. Dempsey goes up but leaves Kelly back. More hi-jinks ensues. Fun with turtles, frogs and seals…

Polly want David Dowe Harrimans’s death ray. Hysterical, they all agree to split the reward. Nanny finds the deed to her farm. Police Commissioner Clancy arrives. Vesta claims Clancy is her stepfather.

An octopus grabs Hook. Nanny is the octopus which she morphs into an evil witch and demands the death ray.

Nanny gets Dempsey, Kelly, and Vesta. Suddenly, the octopus grabs Nanny?

Cops, Vesta, and Polly try to defuse a bomb which blows the lighthouse up.

Suddenly, at a hospital, Kelly wakes up. Nanny is Kelly’s mother-in-law. Everyone is there. Vesta is a nurse. Kelly is brought to his wife who just gave birth. He thinks he has twins and turns out those are Dempsey’s kids. Dempsey’s wife gave birth, too. Dempsey faints…

What I say:

Seeing a movie listing about an octopus terrrorizing people inside a lighthouse. All the ninjapprentices out there should know that one fact about any movie would lure me in.

I think I finally found the original inspiration for Scooby Doo. This lighthouse has most people scared to death to go to it. Count the number of times that people disappear but reappear shortly. How many times did the octopus tentacles pop up in the background but not grab the characters? Marvel at the little old lady morphing into a truly evil witch for no apparent reason than to look evil. Granted, she wasn't unmasked and given a looney explanation of wanting to drive people away so she could find the hidden treasure was why she did everything.

Well, anyone get the feeling that Sh! the Octopus was the B-reel of a double feature at the theater? Take Abbott and Costello. Cloning them a few generations to the point they are the faded wince-inducing copies of some far superior previous comedians would be the best way to describe the wacky police partners. We saw the watered down Martin and Lewis cloned duo in Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla.

Doesn't every movie set close to the sea need at least a hooked handed crazy man? Captain Hook or Salty. "The Gorton Fisherman had an accident and now he's fishing for blood...YOURS!!!!" If I ever see a commercial for fishsticks based on that deranged idea, I'm going to be peturbed unless I get a lifetme supply of fish sticks.

Oh no, not the infamous dream ending? Please not that, anythign put that!!!Granted so many horror movies in the 80s drove the dream ending into the ground. However, the wider variety of movies you watch from the 30s, 40s, and 50s show how common it was. Logic, unnecessary. It is surprising to see how often the dream ending was used back in the day.

I came into this movie just expecting an evil octopus attacking a lighthouse. What did I get? A movie that couldn't decide if the evil mastermind was an octobus or the widow of Old Man Thompson who used to run the amusement park before it went out of business. Is the Octopus a criminal or an evil invertebrae? It is hard to decypher since both versions of the evil calimari appears. The criminal mastermind and the octopus inspired by the squid who attacked NEmo's submarine in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea? At least the criminal mind turned out to be the step-sister of the Wicked Witch of the East and of the West from the Wizard of Oz.

Quotable Dialogue
"Funny fellow, Hook."
"Where is the corpus delicious?"
"Nanny, make them do something!!"
Morals of the Story
"To War on Giant Criminal Octopus" is not a sensational newspaper headline.
Every octopus wants to control a radiation death ray.
Every Octopus writes threatening letters.
An octopus can pilot a submarine.