Queen of the Amazons (1947)

Cast:

Robert "I was in Undertaker and His Pals?" Lowery is Gary Lambert
Patricia Morison is Jean Preston
J. Edward Bromberg is Gabby
John Miljan is Narrator / Colonel Jones
Amira Moustafa is Zita, the Amazon Queen

What the box says:

Join us on a woman's thrill-packed expedition in search of Greg, the love of her life who seems to be lost in the African jungle. Unfortunately her guide, Gary, sees her, and all women, as dead weight on such a trip. Despite this, he agrees to help her while searching for ivory poachers. In the course of their journey they must face imminent danger from man-eating lions and a plague of locusts. Eventually they encounter a lost tribe of Amazon warriors.

Plot:

Why yes my fridge is running....

Colonel Jones, Jean and a couple of others are looking for Jean's missing fiance, Greg. He disappeared in a safari. Jean learns about the last safari trip from the guide. However, the guide gets shot by some mysterious goons.

Jean and the others head off to Africe due to all the stock footage animals. They can only find one guide, Gary, who might be able to get them to where they need to go. However, Gary is so manly, he doesn't want any women on this trip. Jean talks Gary into letting her go if she shows him how cracka shot she is. Gary starts prepping for the safari and getting Gabby for the cook.

I'm not quite sure what kind of Sumtran Rat monkey this is...

The local commissioner tells Gary that Greg was searching for ivory poachers.

The safari heads out and reaches a village. The group hears stories from the tribe about danger of the white she-devils in the jungle. Gary learns that a sinking boat where only some women reached the jungle.

The safari treads on. More stock footage of animals ensues of giraffes and zebras. Gary finds some of Greg's stuff which leads him to believe he was captured by the she-devils. Lion attacks Gary. Wayne hops into the fray and is able to drive the lion away. He reveals he thinks that somebody is trying to stop the trip.

Later, Gary reveals to Jean about the ivory poachers with this growing unbridled passion between them. They find Wayne's corpse. Trodding on, let mosre stock footage animals of locusts and lions ensue. One of the beareres is killed by a lion. The rest of the natives hunt the killer lion down.

Elsewhere, Xita, the white she-devil, has Greg. She finds that her lion had been shot.

The safari is given access to bring 3 of their memebers to the village. Gary, Colonel Jones, and Jean head in.

At the village, Greg wants to meet the incoming safari people rather than confer with the council of chiefs.

Our intrepid 3 meet Xita. She learns they're looking for Greg and aren't the poachers. Xita reveals how she was raised by her mother and how she plans on keeping Greg for her soon to be husband.

The following paragraphs contain amplified usage of the letter "G"

Gary wants Xita to tell what she knows about the poachers. Gabby walks in and admits to being the poacher.

"I'll teach you how to 'Hey Abbott!' right..." Gabby's goon are rushed by Gary.

Natives rush the village, let the gunfightning begin. Greg returns. Gary goes after Jean.

I didn't realize that Lucy Lawless would get mad if called myself "Amazon Queen." Gabby has got Xita when Gary rushes to fight the evil Lou Costello-lookalike. A girl uses her blowgun and stabs Gabby.

Afterwards, the safari witnesses the double wedding of Gary and Jean with Greg and Xita.

We have to go to Toldeo for our honeymoon...Yay!!!

What I say:

It can be hard to think of dead types of movies with as many remakes and re-imaganings. For one, westerns which were once a huge part of movies have dwindled down to hardly few a year. However, some types of movies have fallen even farther lower and not resurrected. One of the almost totally forgotten types of B-movies is the "Jungle Adventure." Hollywood having sets on their backlots and using the same sets for numerous movies was done. Jungle adventure with a little type of Sheena-Amazon thrown in for good measure but missing many gorilla-suited characters.

It's taken 378 reviews and more than 7 years before finally getting to a movie that starts with the letter "Q." Well, the letter "X" still remains unanswered. If you want a movie with plenty of stock footage and a lack of quality, this is the movie for you. Stock footage can be annoying in a movie but it;s not as bad as the "Too Dark to see what's going on" bit to keep from showing the monster or any night action. Most of this movie is stock footage, narration, and getting organized to go to the next point on their trip.

Gabby looks like an evil Lou Costello with a pet monkey, and I doubt that supervillains like Blofeld from the James Bond movies were inspired to have a pet with him because of this movie. Having Gabby walk in at the end and admit to being the poacher is almost the typical Scooby Doo villain ending if only a dog had unmasked Gabby who was revealed to be an amusement park owner. Until the end, Gabby just walks in and out doing wacky hi-jinks or just being incompetent.

How many adventure movies have the rugged manly guide who doesn't want women on his boat, crew, etc..? Gary is the tough guide who can handle him in any fight, especially wild animal attacks, etc...This is the type of movie hero that is drawn to the tough-indepent women who forces her way to having him work for her and the sparks must fly...Oh, yes, the sparks must fly.

Xita is the girl raised in the jungle who becomes the Queen of the Amazons or a she-devil. She rules over her village and is shown to love animals but no animal-mind link like other jungle girls or Ellie May Clampett has. For a "Queen of the Amazons", she doesn't have many subjects. Few decades later, we'd have a more martial artistic jumping Amazonian Queen.

Kind of the strange the title of the movie "Queen of the Amazons" is set in Africe when Amazons are thought of as Greek mythology or the Amazon River is in South America.

Quotable Dialogue
"It's a lucky thing they didn't hear the shot."
"Well I'm not Horace Greely."
"Don't make a monkey out of yourself."
"So you and your bugology."
Morals of the Story
Elephants walk down main streets all the time.
Elephants love to play tug of war.
Monkeys love to hear poetry.
Lions are routinely driven away by torches.
Jungles are full of wicker chairs.