Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1984)

Cast:

Richard "1970s Battlestar Galactica Capt Apollo" Hatch is Dan Roebuck
Kay "Death Wish IV: Crackdown is a thought-provoking epic..." Lenz is Carrie Madison
John "I met Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon" Saxon is Kleel
Peter O'Farrell is Malachi
Ray Charleson is The Greenman

What the box says:

A scientist has developed a matter transmitter that he is about to demonstrate for two people when an earthquake occurs, disrupting the test and plunging the trio into a parallel universe. The trio must adjust to the strange new world, where medieval weaponry is mixed with modern technology, all the while trying to find a way to travel back home. The scientist becomes separated from the young couple and they attempt to find him, all the while a warlord is trying to stop them, so he can take the woman for his own.

Plot:

Carrie Madison, reporter of a paranormal show, Weird and the Wacky is sent to meet Dr. Hartman. During an earthquake in California, she drives Dan off the road on the way and keeps going.

Dr. Hartman demonstraters his transmitter to Carrie at his lab. Apparently, he can send objects into parallel universes before he disappears. Later, Dan arrives at the lab and more of their biting repartee ensues before they're zapped elsewhere, too.

Separated, Carrie helps pull a caveman from quicksand. Trodding along, she finds Dan and are chased by aborigine pygmies.

Short people got no reason to Live seems to inflame them into attacking... They manage to meet a Varn and free him. Later, he saves them and runs off announcing his life debt is paid off.

Carrie and Dan realize that time must pass faster here than on Earth when Kleel and his army find the Earthlings.

Anyone with a grin that smug has to be some an evil warlord/conqueror... He has a number of rebels executed, shoots Dan, and claims Carrie for his own.

Dan meets Malachi, a midget. He pays Malachi tolead him to Kleel's castle. On the way stopping at tavern, Dan finds the Varn, the Greenman, he rescued earlier and pulls him from the tavern to join his mission...

A flannel sword wielder protecting an Andorian...Isn't that a sort of joke?

Kleel shows Carrie around his castle and executes a rebel with his flintlock. He needs more power from his sorceror and wants Carrie to love him...

Dan, Malachi, and the Varn are trapped and forced to fight some large guy, (Naboo?). Dan versus the champion, and he wins. Well, the tribe isn't too happy with losing to Dan and decide to boil them in their cage. Things aren't looking too good until the caveman, K-HAr, (caveman saved by Carrie who's been falling behind them) helps them escape. Cue the ruckus...

Carrie meets Dr. Hartman, who has been buildign flintlocks, and just started nitroglycerine for Kleel...

The heroes keep trodding on...and head into a cave and seem to be chased by some sort of Ring Wraiths...

Ringwraith...Ringwraith... Well, we needed more fisticuffs...

Hartman demonstrates nitroglycerine for Kleel who is very impressed by it..

Dan, Varn, K-Har, and Malachi escape the caves and sneak into Kleel's castle.

Kleel sends Carrie into the dungeons to learn to appreciate how wonderful things could be if she would become his... Dan manages to free her and goes after Hartman. They

Kleel catches Dan, Malachi, and the Varn on the way out. Carrie blackmails Hartman into helping her...

Dan offers to leave and take the others because Carrie will stay with Kleel.

Dan gets some nitroglycerine and gunpowder to fuse around the castle to blow it up. Malachi, Varn, K-Har, and the others wait outside the castle.

Carrie grabs one of the flintlocks on Kleel.

I don't have to do any Dirty Harry impression, do I? She and Dan escape. Swordfighing on the way out as the castle blows up. Malachi finds a coin. Carrie and Dan examine the area and are beamed away but Dr. Hartman isn't...

What I say:

Mark Twain's "A Conneticut Yankee in King Arthur's Kingdom" does sound like it was part of this movie. Well, a strange scientist is sent to another universe and accidentally sends a tough guy and a woman to another universe where they must encounter a power-crazed evil warlord by uniting with a number of strange aliens. It does sound a bit like Flash Gordon maybe because of just reviewing Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe last week...

John Saxon is probably more famous from Enter the Dragon, Nightmare on Elm Street, or Mitchell even without the MST3king. Well, don't hold Last Samurai against him. Saxon has had many of low budget movies over the years from the heroes to even the villain on My Mom's a Werewolf.

The chase scenes have background music that sound like 1970s muzak. Almost thought that I heard an elevator music version of "Escape (the Pina Colada Song)". Well, they did start to get a little too over-using with the cartoony-falling over the cliff sound effects when the midgets got tossed over by the caveman.

The action scenes could be improved if they were actually from the 1970s Wonder Woman series or any saloon fight, that is the stock footage in 1940s B-Westerns. This isn't the kind of movie you want to watch for sylized martial arts, quality action effects, etc...

Ever get the feeling that some of these movies on the 50 or 100 movie DVD sets are cut down? Well, this is defintely another one of those especially with its ending. Carrie and Dan zapped away is definitely screaming "Sequel!!!" to this movie of a pilot. This is a movie that decades later would be the Sci-Fiffy movie debut on a Saturday night.

Quotable Dialogue
"What am I supposed to do with a mad scientist for an hour?"
"The Weird and the Wacky?"
"I don't like the way pint-sized midgets committed suicide."
"I am quite able to do this by myself, so if you don't mind, please take your hand off my butt!"
"You little louse..."
Morals of the Story
Staring at cobras is a very difficult skill to acquire.
Midgets sound like wildcats.
Home dental repair is a bad career choice.