Mesa of Lost Women (1953)

Attack of the Spider Women

Cast:

Jackie "Uncle Fester from the Addam's Family" Coogan is Dr. Araña
Allan Nixon is Dr. Tucker, camp physician
Richard Travis is Dan Mulcahey, foreman
Paula Hill is Doreen Culbertson
Robert Knapp is Grant Phillips
Katherine "BatWoman from Wild World of BatWoman" Victor is Spider Woman

What the box says:

Dr. Araña (Jackie Coogan) is a crazed scientist with his lab located on the top of a high mesa in Mexico. Dr. Araña has developed a serum which will transform humans using spider hormones. The females injected with the spider serum turn into beautiful women and the male test subjects transform into hideous looking dwarves. A group of travelers are taken to the secret lair of Dr. Araña by his hypnotized assistant and end up discovering his experiments. They realize they must escape the clutches of their evil host as well as try to stop him from continuing his experiments.

Plot:

The narrator extolls the virtues of how insects are superior to man. In the desert, Frank, an oil company surveyor, and Pepe, his assistant,

Badges, we don't need no stinkin' badges... find Grant Phillips and Doreen roaming the desert. Taken to a nearby hospital, the hysterical Grant rambles about monsters and Dr. Araña's lab before starting his story.

Begin the flashback tale with the arrogant narrator. Dr. Masterson goes to see Dr. Araña's lab.

Of course, I can say SCIENCE like in the Thomas Dolby song... Masterson sees the extent of Araña's work about taking the growth hormone from a woman and transplanting it a tarantula which grows as a human woman with telepathy and regeneration. Of course, all these things mean that Araña can rule the world....Bwa-Ha-Ha-Ha...Masterson swears to stop this evil scheme. Tarantella knocks him out.

Newspaper montage explains that Masterson has lost his mind and was found in the desert. He was taken to an asylum but seems to easily escape.

A place with a Wet Sombrero contest does sound a bit tacky... A little while later, Masterson reaches a bar. He meets Grant Phillips (pilot), Doreen, Jan Van Croft(Doreen's fiancee), and Woo (Jan's servant). George (nurse from the asylum) has reached the bar and found Masterson. Tarantella starts dancing at the bar.
It may not be the Bat-tusi but better than your lame dancing. Masterson seems entranced until he pulls out a gun and shoots her.
You're not a good dancer and this shoudld stop you... This does disturb most of the barflies.

Masterson wants to protect Doreen and the others. They head for the airport and take off in Grant's airplane which isn't in 100% condition if it were a matchbox with a rubberband it probably be in better shape. It still takes off before teh police can get there. In mid-air, an engine goes out, Grant has to make an emergency landing on top of a mesa in the desert.

That night, They launch the only signal flare. George heads out to go exploring and starts screaming in the bush. The others head out and find George's corpse.

Back at camp, Doreen is starting to get chummy with Grant. Apparently, she's starting to realize that her fiancee isn't the manly heroic movie type. Woo heads out to find a family heirloom of Jan's.

Woo heads to Arayna's lab. He reports that he's brought Masterson back the others can be used for experiments. Woo doesn't leap to the idea of scientific experimentation fast enough. Arayna has Tartantella eliminate Woo.

Grant finds Woo's body later. A giant spider attacks Jan. Dwarves and Tarnatula women grab the rest.

Back at the lab, Dr. Araña restores's Masterson's mind. He's needed for the mad scientist great plan. Doreen attacks Tarantella. Grant grabs Arayna. Masterson fixes a chemical formula to destroy the lab. He sends Grant and Doreen from the lab first and blows the lab killing himself and Arayna.

Back at the hospital, Grant finishes the story when Doreen awakens. Theguys around don't believe Grant's hysterical tale. The narrator smugly explains that there is nothing to Grant's tale. Back in the desert, the Tartantula Women are still on the mesa.

What I say:

Suggested Soundtrack Song: Alice Cooper's "Black Widow"

Mesa of the Lost Women sounds more like a South-West desert adventure or western rather than a mad scientist movie. Aw, the mad scientist movie though more of the movie is about an insane scientist rather than the aforementioned mad scientist who is plotting to control the world with his spider-women. Unfortunately, we needed more mad scientist wanting to conquer the world rather than insane asylum escapee who holds people hostage and shoots at interpretive dancing spider-women. The mad scientist Arana tosses around the fact he's created some giant spiders who only pop up once for an attack. It may move around and can jump far better than the Volkswagon-sized spider in Giant Spider Invasion.

Jackie Coogan was one of the earliest child stars in Hollywood with finance problems. His mother and stepfather didn't have to give any of the money he made as child actor. In fact what happened to him inspired the law being changed to prevent it from happening to other child actors. As an adult, he had to do a lot of B-movies and bit parts afterwards. Later, he did gain some new fame as Uncle Fester from the Addams Family.

However, a movie never used so much flaminco guitar as ominous music. It could have been worse if it were circus music. Can't expect a movie with monsters to be very realistic. At least, David Arquette got the fact that spiders have 8 legs right in 8 Legged Freaks. However, this movie kept tossing the phrase "Hexapod" around which is 6-footed. OK, my attempt at any sort of science.

Since this movie came out before Invasion of the Body Snatchers, can't do much to claimed they stole the Kevin McCarthy hysterical flashbacking. That may be one of the few things that this movie didn't steal. Once again, this movie that was pieced from an incomplete film. Notice how Dr. Arana only appeared in a couple of scenes. The very first scene had a spider woman attacking some guy, but it's never mentioned again. The narrator typically explains things tso we don't have to see what's going on or to cut the budget down. Well, the flashback inside of a flashback is a definite space-time continuity bender. I thought the nightmare inside of a movie scene inside of a flashback that was never told to the character telling the flashback in Return to Horror High was confusing.

Yes, scientist transplanting from women into spiders and vice-versa...Somehow, the human transplant to the spider turned them into giant spiders or human women. Well, this does sound a tad bit like Jessica Drew(Spider-Woman) (yes, got my obligatory super heroine reference in...) The experiments also create some type of telepathy which all giant-super-tarantulas have. However, the experiments only create deformed dwarves or midgets if men are used as subjects.

Quotable Dialogue
" Strange! – the monstrous assurance of this race of puny bipeds with overblown egos; the creature who calls himself ‘Man’! He believes he owns the earth, and every living thing on it exists only for his benefit. Yet how foolish he is! Consider: even the lowly insect that Man trods underfoot outweighs humanity several times, and outnumbers him by countless billions! In the continuing war for survival between Man and the hexapods, only an utter fool would bet against the insects."
"These are super monsters!"
"If we are successful, I shall have a super female spider! – with a thinking and reasoning brain. A creature that someday may control the world! – subject to my will!"
"Aye Carumba, Dr. Araña!"
"What a dump!"
"The body just got up and walked away..."
Morals of the Story
Flamingo music can easily be creepy.
Mad scientists are required to have deformed assistants that are failed experiments.
Re-animated corpses are commonplace in bars.
Movie narrators need to sound extremely smug and arrogant.