Side Order of Ninjas

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L.A. Streetfighters (1985)

Los Angeles Streetfighter
Ninja Turf


Cast:

Jun "Bruce Lee Fights Back From the Grave wasn't my idea!" Chong is Young
Phillip Rhee is Tony
James Lew is Chan
Rosanna King is Lily
Thomas "mcFly, I'm Biff Tannen from Back to the Future!!!" F. Wilson is member of Spike's gang
Bill Wallace is Kruger


What the box says:

Asian youth gangs and drug dealers are featured in this 1985 martial arts feature set in Los Angeles.


Plot:

At a school, Tony starts a new day. One gang starts hassling him when Yung comes in. This gets the gangs to rumble that night. Afterwards, a couple offer to hire Yung's crew for some kind of security work as bouncers.

Suddenly, we cut to some frat toga party without the joy of Animal House.

Yung and his crew are at their bouncer gig when some evil rednecks want to fight them. Well, in hand to hand combat, rednecks versus martial artists don't quite match up.

Next night, Tony is trying to romance Lily. However, Chan, (Lily's brother), isn't too happy with Tony. Later, Lily tries explaining why her family is screwed up.

Yung celebrates one of his' crew's birthdays. Yung befriends Tony. Stopping at a convience store, a gang tries to rob Yung and Tony who thoroughly kung fu that gang. We get to see how Yung wants to live a new life.

The previous gang that was hired as boiuncers isn't happy with Yung's crew. They call them out for a rumble. Of course, they try and betray Yung who is still able to outfight them.

Rich guy (Drug lord) talks with Yung about providing secuity for his party. They get suited up before the party. Yung sees that the Rich is actually selling large amounts of drugs. Yung grabs the money and he and the crew get away.

The obviously rich and andry drug lord hires a Japanese assassin and a East coast hitman, Krueger, to get the crew and his money. The duo walk into a gym for info on Yung. One of the gangs that want to get rid of Yung are there and readily reveal their info. The duo grab a couple of Yung's crew.

Yung readies before having to rescue his friends. Charging into one of the evil gangs he contended with earlier, he has to face the katana-wielding Japanese assassin. Our hero finally finds his friends chained up but must face Kreuger first.

Yung and his battered friends find Yung's mom who is distraught over everything after seeing how beaten they all are. Another of the evil gang's walks up. Yung is stabbed but he keeps kung fuin'.

Tony is driving to Yung's side.

Yung is continually beaten more and more when Tony drives up. He starts thoroughly Kung Fuin' the evil gang who run away.

Yung's mom goes to his side and apologizes for being so terrible as he dies.


What I say:

Calling myself SideOrderOfNinjas is bound to get a certain degree of "Ninja-rifficness" while thankfully, I haven't had to throw my face at any ninjas fists or feet. The early to mid-1980s really gave us the true pop-culture ninja with the black suit who has all the super-powers: Ninja in the Killing Field. In fact, L.A.Streetfighters had another name Ninja Turf. However, there is no any attempt at any sort of ninja in this movie.

The last few week's have had me delving into a couple of Hercules movies. Decade wise, I've been through the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s. It has been quite awhile since tackling the 1980s especially in martial arts movie style. Most low budget 1980s action movies don't have many fights. Thankfully, this movie does. The fights may not be Jet Li quality or even the pre-comedic Jackie Chan quantity. 80s action movies aren't known for Shakespearean plots.

It's hard to keep track of all the gangs that are against Yung's crew from the typical ethnic movie gangs to even the South LA redneck gang. Shame that there wasn't some truly bad "SUTHERN" accent for those rednecks. This may be the only movie that has only a couple less cartoony street gangs than the Warriors. The Japanese Samurai wielding a katana riding around with a NYC hitman has to be considered under some type of gang moniker.

There may be some missing scenes from this movie or just not expected for the audience to question some things that never happened. Yung mentions that Kreuger called him to return the cash as ransom to get his friends returned. Well, that would explain how Yung knew where to go at the end of the movie.

The movie seems to alternate between who the hero is: Yung or Tony. Yung and his crew don't do anything evil like the other gangs: robbing, etc...In fact, they may not be doing anything criminal like the other gangs. They aren't too bright when the rich guy hires them for private party security but are less than happy when they realize the party is just cover for a drug buy. Tony just pops up once in awhile to either romance Lily or be a friend for Yung.

Movies aren't always known for having actors star in roles that are age appropriate. Yung doesn't look like he should be in a classroom in a student's desk in 20 years. Seeing him act about how his Mom comes in drunk while he's calling her "Mom" is hard to believe. Imagine Leave it to Beaver's parents in a movie if Hugh Beaumont was in his mid-40s acting as a teenager with Barbara Billingsley at the same age as his drunk mother.



3 NINJAS

Quotable Dialogue

"Kids spike 'em!"
"This is my friend, Tony, from school."
"You look ike one of them."
"You, stupid punk!""
"Security throw him out!"


Morals of the Story

Secret messages are routinely hidden on the bottom of your shoes.
Red spray paint should be used for headspray.
Noguy with a beer belly should wear a half-shirt.
Hotel rooms have red lights for ceiling lights.
Smearing ice cream on a face is endearing.
Synchronized clapping is scary.


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