Klansman (1974)

The Burning Cross
KKK

Cast:

Lee "I led the Dirty Dozen" Marvin is Sheriff Track Bascomb
Richard "Sweatiest man in the universe from Exorcist 2" Burton is Breck Stancill
Linda "I'm star in this movie then Mitchell?" Evans is Nancy Poteet
O.J. "Nordberg from the Naked Gun movies" Simpson is Garth

What the box says:

This film is set in a small Southern town where a youung woman has been sexually violated. The white townfathers immediately assume the attacker must be a black man.

The KKK gets set to hunt him down. Can the town-sheriff stop a lynching before a fair trial can take place?

Plot:

The 1970s soul is being played over the credits. Sheriff Lee Marvin catches some guys with a girl and gets them to stop harassing her. Later, the sheriff visits the last line of Southern aristocracy, Richard Burton. Apparently, a big group of protestors are coming to town in a few days. Richard Burton is letting the protestors stay on his land.

An arguing couple is driving down the road when it breaks down. The husband decides to walk to the closest house for help. However, Nancy stays behind. After dark, some guys attack and rape her.

At the town meeting, the mayor wants to handle the protestors. He doesn’t want the local good old boys in the local branch of the Klan to get things agitated. The mayor doesn’t want anyone killed or any churches set on fire which would cause bad press. They learn that Nancy was raped. The folks suspect Willie Washington, a black guy, was responsible for it.

Sheriff Lee Marvin heads to a bar with a warrant to arrest Willie who immediately tries attacking Lee Marvin to no avail. Lee takes him to the police car when some Klan guys pull up to demand they get Willie. Lee refuses to surrender his prisoner.

The Klan guys try running down a couple of black guys. Chasing them into the words, one of the guys was caught and killed.

Later, in church, the preacher is doing a sulfur and brimstone sermon about the dangers of civil rights when Nancy walks in. She gets every possible accusation directed at her with numerous racial epithets thrown into the mix, too.

That night, a Klan guy gets waked up for a meeting. Outside, he realizes that the guy who woke him up wasn’t in the Klan.

"YOU HAVE BEEN JUICED!!!" It’s OJ SIMPSON!!!

Lola Falana returns to town after being in the city.

At the guy’s funeral, as the procession begins. The Dixie flags are covering the coffin. OJ SIMPSON has his rifle and lets the sniping begin.

Never, never make any Nordberg jokes again...

A few days later, during the protest and counter protest, OJ SIMPSON lets his lead fly once again. When Lola and Richard Burton are driving off, they find OJ SIMPSON in the back of their jeep.

Sheriff Lee Marvin asks Richard Burton to let Nancy stay at his place.

Some Klan guys want Willie out of jail so they can get him. They try to get the drop on Lee Marvin. Bad idea, he gets their guns. Martha, a local girl comes in, and admits she was with Willie the night Nancy was raped. So, it can’t be him.

Sheriff Lee Marvin finds OJ SIMPSON and explains it would be better if he left the county.

Nancy wants to go on a trip. At the bus station, some Klan guys are trying to provoke Richard Burton who promptly Kung Fues them. Yes, Richard Burton KUNG FUES the Klan guys and sees Nancy off on the bus.

At the bar,

Strip poker with rednecks, bad idea.... very bad idea.... the people decide Richard Burton ought to be lynched on the tree that his grandfather was years ago.

The mayor talks with Richard Burton. He better agree with the mayor or else. Richard Burton won’t leave his land.

Lee Marvin gets a call about trouble Richard Burton.

That night, Richard Burton has the people who live on his land with whistles to warn if someone is coming. Lee Marvin pulls up and the debate fu flies.

The Klan approaches in their sheets. They’re not going to let Richard Burton leave. Lee Marvin orders them to surrender and announces he’s arresting them. The gunfight ensues. Lee Marvin is hit. Richard Burton opens fire but is shot, too. The Klan starts setting buildings on fire. Lee Marvin manages to nail a few more Klansmen. OJ SIMPSON arrives and is about to cap a klanner but is stopped by Lee Marvin.

You asking yourself, did I fire 5 shots or 6? In all the excitement, I lost track myself... Richard Burton dies. Some Klan guy shoots Lee Marvin who falls over. OJ SIMPSON walks off. Lola Falana sets the lynch tree on fire.

What I say:

First, I was going to review this movie but decide not to do it. However, changed my mind to review it. Complicated enough? Well, didn't quite realize how this movie lived up to its name so graphically in the beginning over some of the bigger movies Mississippi Burning and A Time to Kill.

This isn't bad in the same manner as say Massacre..Ahem, ahem... This movie is far worse than something with a bad monster costume. We know that Ro-Man from Robot Monster isn't going to outside of the house. The evil in the Klansman is far worse because it is more than just imaginable but existing all over our world.

You can see how the plot section is quite a bit shorter than most of my other reviews. The box hits the plot right on the head except for the creative ways racial epithets are used like in the church scene. Trying to keep the reviews from sounding explicitly raunchy can be a challenge. Goes without saying, that this is awfully mean-spirited movie...Just finished watching Blazing Saddles. Now, there's a movie that didn't find a stereotype it left alone. However, it wasn't anywhere as mean.

Call this the small world of directors section. How a man can go from directing Sean Connery James Bond movies like Dr. No, From Russia With Love and Thunderball to things like the Opium Connection is a great mystery? A bigger mystery is how Terence Young went to doing movies like the Klansman.

Some actors and directors cannot be removed from their personal lives. Roman Polanski left the US in the 70s to escape a statutory rape conviction. Like Victor Salva from Jeepers Creepers who was convicted of molestation. While, the previous 2 were convicted or close to it. OJ Simpson was acquited in the criminal trial of his wife and her friend. I know the acquital was a very sore spot between people who was sure he was guilty of those who thought he was framed.

So how do I really discuss a movie without walking on eggshells? No jokes about his wife or the trial. It may seem like I'm tying my hands behind my back. However I should be able to mock OJ just on his acting career. Though somehow, OJ Simpson acting all militant and running around with a sniper rifle is hard enough to just not make far more jokes about. Also to be honest, Richard Burton and Lee Marvin are fair game and big enough targets if I feel I've ridiculed OJ too much.

Richard Burton with his amazing Southern accent and Kung Fu grip is a sight. Not a good sight but a car crash full of clowns on an interstate with a fleet of bulldozers. Though, he does far more greater over-acting in Exorcist 2: the Heretic with his sweating and gratitous screaming of the word

"Pazuzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!"

. Well to be fair, the man does better over-acting than say the non-existent acting of Steven Segal has done in the past 15 years.

I think Lee Marvin has a movie more embarrassing than the musical Paint Your Wagon. At least that was a Western that had him and Clint Eastwood sharing a wife. Wait, that sounds pretty bad with no more information. Rather remember Lee Marvin from being Liberty Valance, leading the Dirty Dozen, or leading the Delta Force with Chuck Norris.

I decided to abandon trying to keep track of character names. This movie had a bad habit of not explaining who is who until you're supposed to know the characters already...Too hard, the ones that lasted, were all famous enough actors to just use their real names: Lee Marvin, Richard Burton, and OJ Simpson.

The supporting actors are the amazing part of this movie. Just their power in 6 degrees of Bruce Campbell...OK, B-movie fans don't consider Kevin Bacon. Luciana Paluzzi, the secretary at the Sheriff's office, is better known from Green Slime. David Huddleston who played the Mayor, the guy threatening Lee Marvin had a bit part in G-Men From Hell and a huge number of appearances on TV shows through the 1970s and 1980s. Cameron Mitchell from Space Mutiny, Commander Santa Claus according to MST3K. Linda Evans was in Mitchell, the Joe Don Baker epic. That is quite a collection of movies that are connected to this one.

Quotable Dialogue
"I'll try to maintain a dignified meutrality."
"You don't know any more about business than a hog does know about Sunday."
"He looks like Custer's MASSacre."
"I don't want you flirtin' with no purple heart."
Morals of the Story
Descendents of Southern plantation owners always sound British.
Red baseball caps are funeral attire.
A Karate chop can throw a man back 15 feet through a door.
Boxers are the dress code at a bar.
White sheets are not good cameflauge at night.