Horrors of Spider Island (1962)

Ein Toter hing im Netz
A Corpse Hangs in the Web
Body in the Web
Girls of Spider Island
It's Hot in Paradise
The Spider's Web

Cast:

Alexander D'Arcy is Gary Webster
Barbara Valentin is Babs
Rainer Brandt is Bobby
Harald Maresch is Joe
Elfie Wagner is Linda

What the box says:

An airplane enroute to Singapore carries with it a group of female dancers and their manager but unfortunately crash lands in the ocean somewhere in the South Pacific. Having survived the crash, the dancers and their manager make their way to an uncharted island where they set up residence and spend their days lounging around and skinny dipping. When the manager is bitten by a strange spider, he is transformed into a spider-like beast and begins stalking the dancers.

Plot:

At a modeling agency, a number of girls are auditioning for an overseas dance troupe.

Why you've never heard of what is on our internet website?... Let the introductions ensue. Gary, the manager, and his assistant, Georgia, ready everything for the trip.

On the plane trip over the Pacific, the stock footage of the sea ensues when the plane goes down. The troup and Gary use the raft to reach an island.

Trapped on a deserted island with no professor or millionaire, or Gilligan, life's good..

Finding fresh water, they search the island and find the cabin of Professor Green (who's deader than someone in Clue). However, the corpse in a giant web doesn't seem to disturb anyone that much.

J. Jonah Jameson's secret nightmare is revealed...

That night, as the women get ready for sleep, Gary heads out to take a walk to be away from so many women looking at him like the last piece of pie. During his walk, a giant spider attacks and bites him.

Just in case, that's the monster spider to not even scare David Arquette... The bite turns him into some sort of Man-Spider-Gary...Henceforth known as MSG...The girls start searching for him but can't find what happened to Gary.

As time passes, the girls start getting more nervous which of course leads to some catfights. MSG is stalking the girls but alweays seems to barely miss grabbing anyone except the really snobby girl.

Nearly a month later, the girls are running low on supplies.

No haispray or Bo-tox...How'll we survive? They see a ship passing nearby but aren't able to signal it. A small ship docks on the island. Bob and Joe have come to drop some more supplies to Professor Green. Bob quickly sees the island is full of women. Joe heads to the cabin and is caught by the girls.

The girls are ecstatic when they learn that Joe and Bob's ship will pick them up in 2 days. Let the party until the pickup ensues. Bob is trying to have about 5 dates in a 20 minute span. Gladys who has a some alone time with Bob isn't too happy when finding him with the other girls.

Bob tries talking down another girl down to Joe. This leads to a fight between the guys until they start laughing it off. Bob heads off to the date with Gladys off to the other side of the island.

Gladys heads off atfer Bob and finds him dead. MSG chases after Gladys. Her screams summon the girls and Joe. Well, Joe isn't quite the best prepared hero when he has to head back to teh cabin for more bullets for the gun. MSG pushes Gladys off a cliff.

Returning from the cabin, Joe discovers that MSG is scared of fire. Everyone gets a torch and chases MSG like a good angry village mob would chase after Frankenstein's monster.

We got some torches...Let's run around like we're chasing Frankenstein... MSG accidentally wanders into quicksand which pulls him under.

The ship takes the survivors away.

What I say:

Taking some sort of realistic animal into a monster has been done plenty of times. Even with specal effects, the 1950s saw grasshoppers Beginning of the End or giant Ants in ThemWell, this isn't one of those movies using any live or realistic spiders that led to all the killer spider movies in the 1970s. Spiders are some of the best go-to creatures for monsters on the other side of Snakes on a Plane. Besides all the direct to video spider movies, can't forget the last big motion picture: 8 Legged Freaks.

Taking a movie and editing it down into something else has been done many times. Raymond Burr was put into the American version of a movie which gave us Godzilla: King of the Monster. This movie has had several variations from its original German version, a more exploitive version (It's Hot in Paradise) , the 1962 American movie, and eventually the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode version.

Imagine Castaway with Gilligan's Island with tiny bit of radioactive spider-monster in the background would give you a decent explanation of Horrors of Spider Island. For a monster movie, this one seems to be awfully low on the monster quotient. Well, let the cast be a group of dancers running in bikinis or torn up dresses on the island is far more included in the movie than the monster. If the movie is so hard to keep track of which character is, you've got a losing battle to watch.

Radioactive-Giant-Spider bites a guy which turns him into a Man-Spider. Well, pre-Marvel comics. The movie never mentioned it as Spider-Man or Man-Spider. The giant spider which is maybe the size of a dog isn't quite as ridiculous as the spider in the Giant Spider Invasion. A Volkswagon Beetle covered in fur with fake legs isn't going to be remembered as a spectacular monster effect. However, Man-Spider-Gary face's looks like the Teenage Wolfman.

Early 1960s loved the cheap scare. What's the cheap scare? Accidentaly bumping into another character that's not the monster had been sone so many times before in horror- comedies with Abbot and Costello. I can't be sure but a couple scenes with Man-Spider-Gary barely missing to grab one of the women could have been almost entirely added at a later date to make it a more typical monster movie. When the monster is a guy in a mask, it could easily not be the guy from the original version. This movie loved to have numerous times where the monstrous hand barely misses grabbing the woman.

This isn't a great movie. A 1962, barely over an hour long movie about a spider monster chasing models on an island isn't going to be remembered as high-art. Do have to say that for cheezy black and white monster movies, I've seen better or far worse (*cough, cough*Atomic Brain). However, for a time-killer or something that doesn't beat you down for not being profound, you could do far worse like Massacre.

Quotable Dialogue
"Are you so pickyyunish?"
"Stop that bawling, you're driving us all crazy!"
"A deadman in a huge web..."
"Is there anything more wonderful than water?"
Morals of the Story
Ballet isn't very popular in Singapore.
People don't notice spider bigger than watermelons.
Most tropical Pacific islands have mostly evergreen trees.