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Hands of Steel (1986)

Fists of Steel
Atomic Cyborg
Vendetta dal futuro


Cast:

Daniel "I was in the Elvira: Mistress of the Dark movie?" Greene is Paco Queruak
Janet "I was in Red Sonja?" Agren is Linda
Claudio Cassinelli is Peter Howell
John Saxon is Francis Turner
George "Warriors of the Wasteland wasn't that bad" Eastman is Raul Morales


What the IMDB says:

A story about a cyborg who is programmed to kill a scientist who holds the fate of mankind in his hands.


Plot:

In a Blade Runner looking city of pollution, Mosley, the environmental candidate wants to be elected. The police are guarding him in a fleabag hotel. Paco is sent to assassinate him. He escapes threw the sewers and electrical conduits and drives off. However, Mosely wasn't killed and is taken to a hospital in critical condition.

John Saxon, head of the evil corporation that sent Paco learns that didn't kill Mosley. Of course, hye sends a couple of his goons to search for Paco.

Paco trades his getaway car and keeps heading out into the desert. Eventually he stops at bar run by Linda who lets him stay for a few days for doing some repair work.

The police are puzzled by the pecularities of the attack.

The goons question Paco's doctor who eventually reveals that Paco may head for somewhere in Arizona to uncover his past.

At the truck stop, the truckers are congregating for the night. Raul is hitting on Linda. Paco doesn't appreciate on that and challenges Raul to an arm-wrestling duel. Well, Paco is the winner which doesn't appreciate Raul and his buddy-buddies that try to jump Paco.


I'm getting ready to whale upon your headskull...
The muscled-Paco handles those guys.

The next day, Raul brings another of his friends, Blanco, who wants to Indian-style arm-wrestle Paco. Apparently, the losing arm gets bitten by a rattlesnake. Later, in the day, Paco heads out to try and help someone in a car wreck. However, he didn't know that Raul and his buddies set it up. Paco gets drugged around behind a tow-truck.


Cyborg versus tow-truck. You know whos gotta win...

That night, Raul isn't expecting for much action until Paco arrives for the Indian-styly arm wrestlign against Blanco. Things improve when Paco karate-chops the ratler to keep it from biting Blanco.

Later, Paco is repairing himself from all the recent damage. He explains to Linda that how 70% of his body was replaced, and how he was sent to kill Mosely. However, at the last moment he was able to lessen the blow not to be a killing one.

The FBI realize the weapon that attacked Mosley was a cyborg hand.

The goons are still searching for Paco. They meet Raul who wants to get Paco.


Don't do it Al. It's not in Ziggy's computations... Gotta do the Quantum Leap reference...

Linda hides Paco from the sheriff. Later, a couple of bikers: Eddie and Suzy stop by Linda's place. They grab Linda and use her a hostage to jump Paco. A gunfight ensues where Eddie gets dispatched. Paco versus Suzy-Cyborg.


I'll swallow youur soul...I'll swallow your soul...Gotta do an Evil Dead 2 reference...

Later, the goons rush in and another gunfight ensues. Paco and Linda escape but are chased by John Saxon's helicopter. Raul is in a big-rig chasing Paco, too. Well, Paco and Linda escape. Blanco sees them and offers to take Linda to a doctor. Paco stays behind. John Saxon's copter attacks Blanco's truck by blowing it up.

Linda jumps from the truck before the explosion. Paco jumps into the river to evade the copter.

The FBI and the cops rush to find Paco. At a factory, the goons chase Paco who isn't quite very happy. After finishing them, Paco has to contend with John Saxon who tries to talk him down.


How did I get in all these Italian low-budget movies?
Well, Paco finishes the evil corporate leader.

The law enforcement surround Paco. Linda tries talking him down and he doesn't believe her at first. The narration explains how the future saw this as the "Day of the Cyborg!"


What I say:

The first of the movie started out like a 1970s cop movie with a dash of Blade Runner before it got into the desert and the Cyborgin' ensued. Of course, Italy was still making quite a few movies from all the various B-genre of the 1980s. Didn't the world need an Over the Top and Terminator combination movie? Well, an arm-wrestling assassin-cyborg isn't following his programming...

Hands of Steel seemed to take most of the time with extreme arm-wrestling. A cyborg running from an evil corporation and winds up arm-wrestling before Stallone's epic Over the Top. This isn't going to be thought of as an action-classic. It's a shame they didn't use an 18-wheeler to finish the helicopter. That was something John McClane would have been impressed with at least in Live Free or Die Hard.

John Saxon is one of the actors that can do either the hero or villain. He has almost fallen entirely into almost the elder statesman bad guy. The bad guy when Michael Ironside isn't available.

This is 1980s brain-dead action movie. There's no shame in admitting it or even cranking one of those out to watch. This would be a totally forgotten movie had it not started popping up in a few of the DVD-collection sets like so many other unremembered movies. Well, if this had been made in America, Paco would have to been played by Hulk Hogan. and Raul would have been the Macho Man.



3 NINJAS

Quotable Dialogue

"Neutralize..."
"Find Paco Querauk before the FBI does."
"I want to hear it, punk."
"Paco, he's so big..."
"No human hand , but an artificial hand, yes..."
"His name was Stanley, but he could have been lying."
"I am the perfect cyborg."


Morals of the Story

Movies need "Special Guest Appearances."
Typewriters need to be remote-controlled.
Flies love bacon.
Tow trucks can be used for cliff-side rappeling.
RPGs are easy to carry around.
Suzy Cyborg is one ofthe most intimidating robo-enhanced humans of history.


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