Guru the Mad Monk (1970)

Garu, the Mad Monk

Cast:

Neil Flanagan is Father Guru
Jaqueline Webb is Olga
Judith Israel is Nadja
Jack Spencer is Igor
Frank Echols is Bishop Kopel

What the IMDB says:

A deranged 15th Century prison colony chaplain exploits his power to get money for his church including murder and grave robbing committed by his vampire mistress and one-eyed hunchback assistant.

Plot:

Hooded guys imprison, Nadja. Carl, her boyfriend, talks with local priest, Father Guru to help him free her from her current death sentence. Guru offers to give her a potion that will simulate death and give her the antidote if Carl will help sell dead bodies to medical schools.

Carl goes to see Olga, the alchemical lady. She wants him to get her some human blood for her medical experiments for the ingredients for the potion.

Guru gives the formula to Nadja while giving the last rites. Sentencing ensues. Later, Guru awakens Nadja and hides her in the church. Carl is sent tothe medical school.

Crazed Guru kills a visiting church goer.

Nadja talks with Igor, the hunchback, who toils around the church.

Christine attends the church when Olga hypnotizes and drains her blood.

Carl returns to Nadja.

Bishop Kopel attends Guru's church. He wants to transfer Guru to another church because Olga was bitten by a rabid animal. Guru kills him.

Nadja talks with Father Polanski, the Bishop's attendant, about the number of church visitors that don't leave. Olga dispatches with the Father. Olga starts hypnotizing Nadja, but Igor stops her.

Guru denies Nadja's accusations. Igor keeps protecting Nadja. Later, Guru and Olga crucify Igor.

Carl returns to Nadja.

Guru stabs Olga. Mortally wounded Igor manages to get off the crucifix and chase Guru to the bell tower. He gets tangled up in the ropes and chokes.

Carl and Nadja walk away and leave.

What I say:

Andy Milligan is probably more known for the Rats Are Coming, the Werewolves Are Here. I have to admit I've only heard of him on a few other review sites. Think it's safe to say, anyone can think of plenty of the worst B-movie directors: William "One-Shot" (Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter) Beaudine, Uwe (House of the Dead) Boll, William F. (Night of the Lepus) Claxton, Finji (Green Slime) Fukasku, Bill (Giant Spider Invasion) Rebane, and, Ed (Plan 9 From Outer Space) Wood.

Rasputin, the Mad Monk is probably considered more of an automatic and autonomic name than Guru, the Mad Monk. Granted, that came out by Hammer Studious a few years earlier starring Christopher Lee.

A guy gets a monk to help his girlfriend fake her prison execution. The monk and an alchemist demand that the guy help pay for it through grave-robbing and blood-selling. The girl has to wait a few weeks and notices a number of people disappear from the church. Talk about crossing-over: a crazy monk, an alchemical vampire chick, and a hunchback named "Igor." This movie seems like some watered down EC Comic's Tales From the Crypt with a bit of Shakespeare'sRomeo and Juliet.

Quotable Dialogue
"I never make an agreement without a contract."
"I don't understand, Master."
Morals of the Story
"Igor" is a trustworthy name.
"Igor" is a common name for hunchbacks.
Giant pairs of scissors are ordinary in Middle Ages.