Green Slime (1968)

After the Destruction of Space Station Gamma: Big Military Operation
Battle Beyond the Stars
Death and the Green Slime
Fango verde, Il (Italy)
Gamma #3 Big Military Space Operation
Gamma sango uchu daisakusen
The Battle of Space Station Gamma

Cast:

Robert "Could I be anymore smug?" Horton is Commander Jack Rankin
Luciana "I was in Thunderball and the Klansman with OJ Simpson?" Paluzzi is Dr. Lisa Benson
Richard "I was in Delta Force 2?" Jaeckel is Commander Vince Elliott
Bud Widom is General Jonathan B. Thompson
Ted Gunther is Dr. Hans Halvorsen

What the box says:

A giant asteroid is heading toward Earth so some astronauts disembark from a nearby space station to blow it up. The mission is successful, and they return to the station unknowingly bringing back a gooey green substance that mutates into one-eyed tentacled monsters that feed off electricity. Soon the station is crawling with them, and people are being zapped left and right!

Plot:

On Space Station Gamma 3, the techno-babble flies fast and furious. Back on Earth at UNSC, United Nations Space Command, they detect an approaching asteroid which will collide with Earth in 10 hours.

General Thomas is briefed. The only plan is to blast away the asteroid, Flora. He calls for Commander Rankin.

Of course, I'm very humble.. Explaining a 6 million ton asteroid is heading on a collision impact with Earth in 10 hours is quite a task. Rankin is to take command of Gamma 3 and launch from there to explode Flora. Thomas also mentions that Vince Elliott is commander of Gamma 3. The implied bad blood is palatable.

Gamma 3, Vince learns of Rankin being launched. Lisa, Vince’s girlfriend and Rankin’s ex, tries to calm him.

Rankin docks and is ready to head for Flora ASAP.

STARBUCK, GET BACK HERE!!! After the ardous trip, the ship reaches Flora...
There is no implied phallic symbolism.. Planning where to place the warheads, the men split up into groups. Dr. Hans Halverson, scientist, goes with the mission to study the asteroid and discovers a strange mass of green fungus.

The green slime is all over the asteroid. Rankin’s wagon is mucked down by the slime. They have to hoof it back to the rocket. Base contacts them. Flora is accelerating and must move launch time. It sounds like they won’t have time to run past the blast radius. Dr. Halverson isn’t back and almost is left behind. Rankin grabs the samples of the green slime and breaks them.

Launch, as they’re accelerating, Rankin manages to bear 10 gravities to activate the force shield to protect them from the explosion.

Back at Gamma 3, Rankin orders everyone to go through decontamination 3 times. Vince manages to argue with him again about how much of station resources that would use. Ranking heads off trying to put some moves on Lisa.

The station is partying like it is 1999. Vince tells Rankin about his upcoming marriage to Lisa. While, Rankin and Lisa are dancing, he is sure she only pities Vince but truly loves the great uber-humble Rankin.

All are drawn to the subtle seductive swaying of my man hips

A station technician starts decontaminating the space suits from the Flora mission. The heat causes the green slime to grow. The technician checks on the suits and is attacked.

Vince and Rankin get the call about the dead technician. They find the green slime and start searching the station.

At a power terminal, they find another electrocuted dead technician. In the main power room, they find a man-sized Green Slime.

Why is mankind is opposed to me for being green, slimy, and killing humanity? Dr. Halverson convinces them to capture it. Several guards are killed in the attempt which fails. Halverson does get a few green slime samples to research.

At sick bay, Rankin has a confrontation with Vince and questions his ability to command.

Halverson shows the commanders the green slime samples and how they feed on electricity.

Green Slime storm the infirmary. Rankin is able to trap it in the isolation ward.

FEEL my Fabulous Phaser Fire!

Using a video camera, everyone sees the Green Slime heal and start to re-grow.

The station is placed under quarantine. Vince has an idea to lure all the Green Slime into a storage area on C-Block and trap them.

Dr Lisa readies to evacuate the wounded.

The men start to lure the Green Slime after them sort of like Elliott using Reece’s Pieces with E.T.. However, some of the Green Slime are after the wounded. Jack Rankin is to the rescue using his flash light katana that somehow makes the Star Wars Kid look like Jet Li.

The men get the Green Slime sealed in the storage room. However, the Green Slime in the isolation ward has been taken care of which escapes.

C-Block is closed with Dr. Halverson is trapped inside. With the Green Slime escaping from the storage room, Rankin orders Vince to close the airlock which he refuses on general principle to get Halverson who has more life sucked out of him than Ron Jeremy.

Who knew Soylent Green Slime was made of green slime that ate people?

A massive explosion rocks the station. Rankin learns that sunlight heals the Green Slime. Rankin contacts UNSC to evacuate the personnel and destroy the station. Rankin versus Vince once more.

The escape cruisers can’t be launched with the Green Slime on the outside of the station blocking the launch doors. Vince heads out to handle them.

In space, the men open fire on the Green Slime. They finally clear the blast doors so the cruisers can start to be launched.

Rankin is ready to set the self-destruct sequence. However, the power is too low. He’ll have to engage it manually. Lisa’s heart is warmed by Rankin’s smug arrogance.

Vince and his men reach the last cruiser and learns that Rankin stayed behind. Vince is going after him.

Rankin is being chased by electrical tentacled green slobs when Vince arrives. Engaging the controls to throw the station into a fiery orbit, a Green Slime kills Vince. Rankin drags him to safety. They escape the station before it reaches terminal velocity.

Gamma 3 burns up in re-entry and BBQs the Green Slime before exploding.

Earth endures another flaming bicycle wheel burning up in the atmosphere.

Rankin reports to the UNSC that Vince should be posthumously be awarded the highest medal for bravery as he wonders how long it will be before tapping Lisa as the cruiser heads to Earth.

What I say:

Suggested Soundtrack for this week is Weird Al Yankovic's "Slime Creatures From Outer Space..."

Once, more many of the most truly ninjaliscious B-Movie reviewers have joined together in a non-Voltron fashion. We're going to be tackling Blob inspired or ripooffs. Green Slime has been one of my favorites since I first watched it. Unfortunately, in one of the greatest cinematic crimes since the release of Scary Movie 2, Green Slime has yet to be released on DVD. Lucky thing, I have a VHS copy. So onto my deranged ramblings...

Many movies have been made by strange groups like a bunch of dentists investing in a tax shelter or Charles Band virtually finanacing the entire Eastern European film industry. Some groups are just hard to believe that have united. Well, some movies are symbols of unity against unspeakable disasters. They show harmony can exist between unique groups. A movie was needed to unite groups across cultures and continents. What did the world need? Why the world needed an Italian-American-Japanese movie? More than that, it needed to be a sci-fi movie about battling giant globs of green slime from outer space.

Another Gamma Space Station movie? After Snow Devils, I should have learnt my lesson. No, it was just released with that Gamma One Station name to hopefully lure some people in the theaters. It is a common fact. I haven't learnt much else I'd be watching something besides killer green slime terrorizng a gaggle of the smug jerks with the obligatory chick who was only in a James Bond movie for 5 minutes.

For those desiring subtle characterizations, why would you be watching a movie called Green Slime? Pretty much, we have the uber-smug, ultra-arrogant Jack Rankin (those happen to be his good points) continually arguing with Vince Elliott. Vince can't make the hard decisions, so he's "weak" according to Captain Smugster. Of course, Captain Smugster is a greater Ladies Man than James Bond, Mick Jagger, Tom Jones, and the guy who played Arvid on Head of the Class could be if they were fused together with the Brundle telepods.

The list of greatest theme songs may have the Shaft and Blob themes. However, it has to have the psychodelic rock song "Green Slime.." Would you believe it in your head? Would you believe it when you're dead?...Green Slimeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Killer green slime. Words fail me at how to explain the concept of walking , ok lumbering piles of green slime. There have been worse movie monsters: Ro-Man from Robot Monster some kaiju from Godzilla and Gamera movies. However, just killer green slime slowly walking towards you.

Normally, a director only gets mentioned when he's done several movies. It is harder to imagine a director with a wider range than Kinji Fukasaku. He had to be one of the most ecleptic directors with such a wide variety from Battle Royale, Legend of the 8 Samurai to this week's review, the Green Slime. From killer outer space slime to Japanese junior high classes battling to the death, now that happens to be quite a range.

Quotable Dialogue
"I take it I'm the volunteer?"
"Increase the speed!!"
"Fireworks over the city will need some kind of explaining."
"There's been an explosion on Gamma 3."
"Tell your GI boyscout what I said."
Morals of the Story
Japanese are big fans of 1960s acid rock.
Space is very smokey.
Slime must have pincer claws.
Aliens carrying sparklers are horrifying.
Women in the future will dress like 1960s go-go dancers.