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Gamera VS Monster X (1970)

Gamera tai Daimaju Jaiga
Gamera Vs. Jiger
Gamera vs. Giger
Monsters Invade Expo '70
War of the Monsters


Cast:

Tsutomu Takakuwa
Kelly Varis
Katherine Murphy
Kon Omura is Dad


What the box says:

Relive the Golden Age of Japanese monster films with this pair of titanic adventures! First Daiei's fire-breathing, flying turtle Gamera returns to battle a horned beast, Monster X, released from a stone statue moved from Wester Island. Facing off in Osaka, they create a demolition derby of destruction you won't soon forget! Then Nikkatsu Studios takes its turn in the monster sweepstakes with Monster from a Prehistoric Planet, made as Dai Kyoju Gappa and also known as Gappa: the Triphibian Monster. In this loose, unofficial remake of Gorgo, a baby reptile-bird monster is captured and taken to Tokyo where its agitated mother and father come looking to reclaim their off spring!


Plot:

We see Gamera fighting various monsters.

In a harbor, Hiroshi is waiting to go out. His dad is refitting a submarine that can only dive 3 feet underwater. Muraco, Hiroshiís sister, is dating Kayzuki who is a engineer for the new theme park, Expo-Land. Kayzuki is going to take Hiroshi to tour the park.

Before leaving, Hiroshi gets a postcard from a friend whose dad is going to bring an idol on a small island to Expo-Land.

Narration about how great Expo-Land is begins. Future fu. Apparently, the idol is to symbolize the past. Kayzuki learns that the islandís inhabitants refuse to have the idol, Devilís Whistle, moved. Kayzuki tries explaining by a slideshow how a time capsule about Expo-Land will be opened in 5000 years. The native leader storms out.

On the island, the crew readies to move the statue. When Gamera flies in, he keeps the statue from being moved. The crew opens fire on the friend of all children. Gamera lands nearby.

The crew quickly airlifts the Devilís Whistle away. Suddenly, a nearby volcano erupts.

The statue is on the ship heading for Expo-Land.

In the city, Hiroshi meets with his friends: Susan and Tommy. They are the kids of the statute mover. They tell how Gamera tried to kill them and donít have Hiroshiís faith in the friend to all children.

Back on the island, the volcano is still smoldering. Jiger, a sort of four horned triceratops rises from the rocks. Gamera lands and the fight is on. Flying kaiju turtle ensues. Jiger is able to knock Gamera on his shell and swims away. Yes, the hero just got flipped on his back and canít right himself.

The shipís crew that has handled the statue has gotten sick. Kayzuki is able to convince some of the dock workers to help transport the idol to Expo-Land.

The ship spots Jiger charging at it and torpedoes the ship.

Choppers lift the statue away as Jiger sinks another ship. Model city fu ensues.

Everyone watches Jiger terrorizing the city on television. Apparently, the statue was used to keep Jiger inactive. The monster will try to destroy the idol at Expo-Land.

Gamera is still on his back and trying to right himself to no avail.


No jokes must be made about turtles earning money on their backs

Jiger rampages with no force able to stop him. He uses his death ray on the military.


Could you direct me to the nearest William Castle movie?

The city readies to evacuate. Hiroshi is positive that Gamera will arrive to save the day.

Finally, the turtle is able to right himself and flies to the rescue.

Evacuation ensues as Jiger keeps reducing city property values.

Nothing can stop Jiger.

Hiroshi, Tommy, and Susan spot Gamera flying in.

Rematch ensues between Gamera and Jiger. Sweet kaiju action ensues. Jiger impales some kind of needles into Gamera who walks away in agony before collapsing.

The kids spot Gamera at the bay. The giant turtle changes color and seems to freeze solid. They think Gamera is dead.

Apparently, Expo-Land is more worried about losing numbers of reservations than the giant monster destroying the city. They then discuss the dangers of a rampaging giant monster. No weapon can seem to stop Jiger. Dr. Williams has been hearing a strange tone from the idol. Tommy and Hiroshi hypothesize that the idol has some sort of poison on it.

Jiger is heading for Expo-Land to the mountain where the idol has been placed. Jiger uses his suction powers to throw the idol in the ocean.

Hiroshi and Tommy convince the scientists to examine Gamera.

X-Rays of Gamera reveal him to filled with Jigerís larva. The only answer is surgery. However, with Gamera not having health insurance, the doctors would rather let him die.

Tommy and Hiroshi sneak out. They hatch up a plan and have to distract Hiroshiís Father and Muraco. Susan is sent to deliver a message to Kayzuki. Tommy and Hiroshi steal the sub and pilot it into Gameraís mouth.

Kayzuki reads the note they had Susan deliver.

Fantastic Voyage ensues. The sub gets lost in the stomach and makes a wrong turn at Albuquerque. They get radio contact with the scientists who direct them to the lungs. Debarking, Hiroshi and Tommy find the monster larva that seems to have been growing and chases after them.

Retreating to the sub, they discover that radio frequencies disturb the larva.

Everyone is on he dock and see the sub leave Gameraís mouth.

Tommy and Hiroshi tell the scientists about the radio frequency weakening Jiger. The idol has a hole like a whistle. The idol can generate a sound that attack Jiger.

The kids want Gamera healed. A plan is developed to use an electrical current to jumpstart Gameraís heart.

The speakers are readied to attack Jiger. It takes several attempts to find the correct frequency.

The cardio-resuscitation of Gamera is to begin. The power plant is operating at full power to revive the flying turtle. When the plant overloads, Expo-Land loses the speakers generating the sonic frequency to incapacitate Jiger.

The kids cheer on Gameraís recovery. He flies away to finish off Jiger once and for all.

Everyone watches the battle for all.

Gamera is able to evade the spikes unlike earlier and Jigerís death ray.

Gameraís fire breath is starting to drive Jiger back.

The kids cheer like at wrestling match as Gamera picks up Jiger and drops him from mid-air. Gamera gets a hold of the idol.

The sounds incapacitate Jiger. Gamera tosses the idol in Jigerís head who quickly dies.

Everyone cheers.

Gamera flies away carrying the trash of Jigerís body with him.


You will believe a giant rocket powered turtle will dispose of his enemies...

Expo-Land is opened. The adults have learned to keep the faith of child or some pointless moral.

Gamera flies away into the sunset.


What I say:

While it isn't Godzilla levelling Tokyo like Blue Oyster Cult sings about, it is time for some new sweet Kaiju action. I've seen more of the Godzilla movies. In fact as a kid, my dream job was to be the guy wearing the Godzilla suit jumping on model buildings and tanks. Well, that still sounds pretty good to me. Not been able to get rid of my inner child. Who would want to do that? I'm sure that I have heard of Gamera in passing but hadn't seen any of his movies until now. Several of the Gamera movies were misted like the more famous Godzilla...

Dubbing in Kaiju (Japanese monster movies) is the butt of many jokes. I still can't quite understand why a bunch of dock workers in Osaka would have Brooklyn accents. These are the kind heavy accents, I as a proud resident of Arkansas who the closest I've been to New York is Memphis, Tennessee, recognizes aren't those a bit fake sounding accents. But, why are bunch of Japanese guys sounding like they should be on the Sopranos?

The kids...Why is Gamera a friend to all children? Will it be long before Michael Jackson dresses as a rocket powered turtle and proclaims being a friend to all children? You know that doesn't sound that off-the-wall after his kid swinging performance...

If more kids were this annoying, it would be understandable why giant monsters go on rampages on a weekly basis. Actually, it would be the best way to help reduce the popualtion. "Real friends keep their friends from having Kennys..."

Explaining comedy kills the humor. In so many movies, humor is so frail as to be on life support without someone using the pillow of explanation to smother the patient.

We get a vaguely triceratops-like monster (ok 4-horned but quadceratops sounds awful) monster that impregnates Gamera with larva. While the late 70s gave us the chestbursters from Alien which seems to be the logical extension of these larva without H.R. Giger effects. It is up to some kids piloting a sub into a giant turtle to save it may seem a bit like Fantastic Voyage without Raquel Welch. Fantastic Voyage was made a few years ago.

You don't expect a kaiju movie to have great effects or models. I expect a monster suit clad guy jumping up and down on a model city and some battles with another monster suited guy. Trying to do a blow by blow description of a Kaiju fight is the same way. It takes all the fun out of it. Well, maybe if Jim Ross from the WWE or Tony Schiavone from WCW did the play by play for Godzilla versus King Kong, I'd proclaim it to be the greatest match of all. Really, kaiju movies are a lot like wrestling done between 2 monster suited guys like the Kaiju Big Battle.

Random Thought

Ever crave seeing an elephant's trunk slit open to empty it of larva parasites? If so, you really need some profession help.



3 NINJAS

Quotable Dialogue

"The Trap is now set."
"Gamera is here to protect us."
"Gamera tried to kill us."
"Gamera is a friend to all children."
"He isn't our friend anymore! I hate Gamera!"
"Boys, we can't refuse this request. It's a question of honor."
"They'll be all right outside, now that Gamera is here."
"He's pulling him by suction."
"He has never betrayed humanity."


Morals of the Story

Theme parks require you to wear hard hats.
All English men wear pith helmets.
Kids automatically trust giant flying rocket-powered turtles.
Giant monstters are always thirsty.
Brooklyn accents are always hilarious when dubbed on Japanese men.
Giant turtles are easily flipped over.
Elephant trunks are full of larva.
Eskimoes are weakend by warm temperatures.
Radio static can kill triceratops-like monsters.
Heat rays can rupture ear drums.
Giant turtles have sensitive ears.


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