For Your Height Only (1981)

For Y'ur Height Only

Cast:

Weng Weng is Agent 00
Yehlen Catral is Lola
Carmi Martin is Marilyn
Anna Marie Gutierrez is Anna
Beth Sandoval is Irma

What the IMDB says:

Mr. Giant has kidnapped the brilliant Dr. Van Kohler and is planning to use the Doctor's invention, the N-bomb, to hold the world hostage. The only one who can foil Mr. Giant's evil scheme is Agent 00, a 3-foot-tall filipino martial arts master, expert marksman, top-class romancer and all-around superspy. Can Agent 00 rescue Dr. Kohler before it's too late?

Plot:

A group of goons kidnap the scientist, Dr. Von Kohler. The criminal mastermind, Mr. Giant wants the good Dr Kohler to build an N-bomb which will let him take over the world.

Elsewhere, Agent 00, Weng Weng, saves Lola from being shot. Apparently, a drug ring is after her. Weng decides to help her by getting rid of the ring and shoots the drug kingpin.

Later, reporting to the agency, chief orders Weng to find the kidnapped Dr. Kohler. Weng is introduced to his new equipment: micro radio, gun, poison detector, radio controlled flying razor-sharp hat, and x-ray specs.

Goons find Weng who avoids them in an amusement park. Apparently, the goons want to lethally kill Weng so they can start selling drugs in kindergarten schools. Irma, Wengs’s contact, has infiltrated the gang and reports to him later.

Weng is able to hit the base. The Boss wants Weng handled once and for all.

I couldn't sell used cars, so I had to go into the villain lackey industry... However, they need to get more gold for Mr. Giant. Irma radios Agent 00 again about the goon’s scheme.

Goons find Weng on the street. Secret Agent 00 uses the razor blade hat on the some of the goons.

Boss chews out the goons and decides to watch out Irma just in case she’s contacting Weng.

Later, Weng meets with Irma.

Waiter, I think a booster seat is necessary... They evade the goons who don’t see the 2 together. Splitting up, the goons go after Weng who heads into a hotel. Several floors up, Weng grabs an umbrella to parachute to the ground.

At a disco, Irma meets Weng. Afterwards, the goons catch Irma. Boss finds Irma’s radio transmitter and is able to catch Secret Agent 00 for Mr. Giant. However, Weng has a hidden cutting torch that allows him to escape and kill a few more goons including the Boss.

The goons are starting to get worried about running low on men.

Weng is able to hide a radio transmitter on the goon’s base. He promptly guns them down.

At another disco, Weng looks for a woman, Anna, to help her find Mr. Kaiser. He fights some drunk guy who is insulting Anna. Later, she apparently wants Weng romance…

Hey, baby, wanna get it on?

Later, Weng finds a criminal reporter, Marilyn. He checks her photos to find some of the goons. The goons attack Marilyn and Weng who Kung Fu them.

Weng has top fight some samurais? He guns several of them down before running out of bullets and has to move onto the katana.

I am Inigo Montoya, you killed my father prepare to DIE!!

The goons’ new boss, Mr. Kaiser sends a guy to take Irma to Mr. Giant.

Weng finds a map to Mr. Giant’s base, Hidden Island.

Dr. Kohler is slapped around when Irma is brought in.

Weng’s chief hands Agent 00 him new equipment, a rocket jet pack.

Rocket-packing Weng ensues to land on Hidden Island.

Somehow, the Rocketeer didn't acknowledge this... Weng finds Mr. Giant, who is a midget, too. MIDGET FIGHT!!!
Words cannot express how cool this is... Weng finally guns Giant down. The other agents arrive as the big gunfight ensues. Weng find Kohler and Irma. On the escape, a goon shoots Irma.

Later, at a cemetery, Weng pays his respects to Irma.

What I say:

All reviewers have the idea that there may come a time when we can't find a anything new to review...Yes, the fear of being jaded and not amazed by movies like Night of the Lepus is almost as big a fear as all reviewers' Great Enemy, High Lord Burnout. It lingers around us whispering "you can take a break." However, in a world with a Filipino midget spy movie or the Turkish Star Wars, the world has plenty more left to watch. Watching this movie, I was close to nirvana, bliss, or chocolate cookie cream cheese pie. Of course, any of those things are definitely good things.

Spies are great characters for movies. James Bond, Jason Bourne, etc...They travel around, have cool weapons, normally martial arts masters, fight evil organizations, and typically almost as impressive ladies men as Shaft. However, the idea of a 3 foot tall super-spy is as close to reality-warping as a physicist would allow.

The spy movies from the late 1970s and early 1980s aren't exactly known for realism. Somehow, a super spy who's a midget and has all the James Bond spy equipment including a razor-blade hat (very much like OddJob's hat) isn't much sillier than most of the Roger Moore James Bond movies. Who knew a secret agent would tell everyone they met that they are a secret agent? A 3 foot tall midget in a white leisure suit is very able to blend into any crowd. A 3 foot superspy is still somehow more believable than Corey Haim in Double O Kid.

For Your Height Only is the kind of movie that is almost as jade removing as finding the Donnie and Marie Osmond Star Wars musical episode where Donnie is Luke and Marie is Princess Leia. If that is bizarre it has Redd Fox as a Jedi master. Not sure why Kris Kristofferson was Han Solo.

This has to be one of the badliest dubbed movies that I've run across. However, it's badliness is also hilarious. One of the goons had an New York City mobster accent. One of the women had an English accent that could only have sounded more English if she mentioned tea and crumpets.

Some foreign movies do steal from far more recognizable instrumental movie themes like Star Wars and Superman. The instrumental theme is so close to the James Bond theme, you'd almost expect the James Bond, bullet intro would ensue. The Agent 00 theme would get almost anyone thinking it was the James Bond Theme if you've not seen any in quite a while.

The ony reason that For Your Height Only has numerous the women for Weng to rescue is of course for the secret agent spy love 'em and leave or to save them of the James Bond philosophy. Lola, the first one was saved from a murderous drug ring. Irma was around to be saved and contact Weng. Anna just showed up for sex machine part. Marilyn just popped up for some intel.

Many scenes in the movie just sort of consist of Weng being chased or running into the goons to fight. They could have been put the chase scenes in almost any order and nothing would have been changed. I'm guessing in the large cities of the Phillipines, secret agents don't keep running into evil goons all the time.

I can't think of any movies that has the villains keep worrying about running low on men. They talk about running low on men put always have plenty of guys for Weng to shoot or Kung Fu...These are the goons that talk about how they work for the forces of evil.

Some of the stunts with Weng when he jumps off the bridge or umbrellas from the hotel. You can easily tell it's a dummy. Arms and legs shouldn't be as flimsy as wet noodles. The jet pack scene has Weng with what looks like a fire extinguisher upside on his back and carried by a wire. He was moving a quite a bit less than confident but not quite flailing around in total terror.

Quotable Dialogue
"Mr. Giant, I have good news for you."
"Don't be a nosy parker, Paco."
"Oh, my little head."
"You're such a little guy, very petite like a potato."
"This is the man that owns the banana, gold, and silver mining company."
"Chick ain't dumb, she's no boobie."
"Where's that little midget?"
"He's made a monkey out of the forces of evil."
"Shall we get it on?"
"Freeze, Tattoo!!"
"I gotta walk on my little feet."
Morals of the Story
Mirrors can be used as radios.
Midgets know Kung Fu.
Spies wear white leisure suits.
Spies use umbrellas for parachutes.
Spies wear platform shoes.
Swords aren't long distance weapons.
Amce is a big taxi company.