Side Order of Ninjas

   Index  -  Reviews  -  Rants  -  Links
Latest Reviews

Top 5 Reviews

Devil's Hand (1962)

Devil's Doll
Live to Love
The Naked Goddess
Witchcraft


Cast:

Linda Christian is Bianca Milan
Robert "Alan Alda's father" Alda is Rick Turner
Ariadna "I was in Brainiac?" Welter is Donna Trent
Neil "Commissioner Gordon from the 1960s Batman TV series" Hamilton is Francis 'Frank' Lamont


What the box says:

An ordinary man becomes bewitched by a beautiful high priestess of a voodoo cult; but whn the cult kinaps his fiancé and prepares to offer her as a human sacrifice, he engages in a battle with the all-powerful supernatural forces in a horrifying life-or-death struggle.


Plot:

At night, Rick dreams visions of this strange woman. However, he also sleepwalks through the city and spots a doll that looks like that woman. The next day, Rick takes his girlfriend, Donna, with him to the store to show her the doll. After, they leave, the clerk, Francis, starts making a voodoo doll that resembles Donna and tests it.


Why a man in a doll store in the early 1960s is very manly...

That night, Bianca, the woman who has been calling for Rick in his sleep tells him to bring the doll of her to get answers.

Rick returns to the doll store and picks up the Bianca doll and heads to her apartment. She shows that the dolls help to focus thoughts to be sent to other people and reveals the Rick doll. Finally, she demonstrates the mental projection. Bianca wants Rick to join the cult.

Heading to the doll store, they meet the rest of the cult before the ceremony starts.


This is wilder than that Elmo and Patsy concert we saw...
It begins with frantic dancing

Get Down and Funky...
before what can best be described as Russian Roulette with a pinwheel of swords.

Lying on an altar for a cult, typically a very bad idea. Just in case you couldn't realize that fact for yourself...

Who knew the Wheel of Fortune started as a demented ceiling fan?
Rick swears into the cult.

Later, horse racing and stock markets, Rick is making a killing.

Francis wants Rick to undergo the loyalty test.

Rick has been avoiding Donna like the plague for the past few weeks.

One lady in the cult tries to talk Rick out of joining. Rick comes forward to Bianca about it. He learns that was the loyalty test. Later, he sees that Francis has made a Donna doll with a needle in it.

Finally, Rick goes to the hospital to check on Donna.

Bianca wants Donna eliminated.

Rick sneaks to the doll store and manages to remove the needle from the Donna doll. He barely avoids being spotted by Francis who does discover a note by one of the members.

At the next meeting, Francis vows one traitor will die.


And I say we should have a Bat Signal for the Dark Knight....
It is discovered that one member is secretly a reporter investigating the cult. Using the guy's doll, Francis sickens he guy crashes off the road. Next, he tends to the guy's sponsor.

Donna has gotten better and released from the hospital. Rick wants her to get out of the city to save her. Neither know that Bianca will handle Donna herself. Let the thought projection begin.

The next meeting, after the interpretive dance, Donna is brought in to be used on the pinwheel of swords. Francis has Rick to spin the wheel. However, he frees Donna and manages to set a fire which quickly consumes the building.


You should know the difference between fire-resistant and fire-retardant...
Most are trapped inside though Rick and Donna escape. However, Bianca thought projects that things aren't over...Bwa-ha-hahaha...

Can't have amovie without the obligatory creepy "It Isn't Really Over' Ending...


What I say:

Low budget movie have had voodoo cults from the 1930s Bela Lugosi in King of the Zombies. The 1950s started going more to monsters than voodoo cults which did start coming back in the 1960s. For most of this movie, it is pretty cut and dried. If it were cut down to a little under an hour, it would fit a bad Twillight Zone or Outer Limits episode.

Many movies have protagonists that are only the main hero because there's no one else to do the job. Yes, some movie heroes are only "heroes" because of being the leading man, and Rick has to be at the top of that list. He drops his girlfriend to join an evil cult that a woman in a dream entices him towards. During the middle, it is revealed that Francis just lets Bianca run around every so often and when she gets tired of Rick, she'll head back to him.

Typically, movie cults are the voodoo types such as is I Eat Skin and Snake People. Most people aren't going to think the cult will be full of middle-aged middle-class group of white couples chanting about "Gamba". Shrunken Heads had a bit more voodoo style with the friendly newspaper stand owner raising 3 shrunken heads for vengeance.

Cheap horror movies aren't known for building suspense. The pop-out shock moments are the typical spring-loaded cat style. The reporter just pops up in the cult almost totally out of the blue to almost make everyone think the cult has realized more about Rick than thought. Why have the one guy magically be revealed to a secret investigative reporter learning about the cult? Well, to raise the body count...

This cult chants and has people lay on an altar while a spinning wheel of swords may be lowered on them. After joining, the new cult members apparently start winning at horse races and the stock market is the great mystery. *INSIDE TRADING* Other than the typical voodoo doll bits and couple bits of telepathy, the X-Men have more powers than this group does. Of course, Brother Voodoo would be deeply ashamed of this evil 1960s cult.



2 NINJAS

Quotable Dialogue

"When I think of time I wasted on vitmin pills..."
"Tastes like Devil's Brew..."
"Spin the wheel!"


Morals of the Story

Swaying from side to side involves chanting.
Cult members need to wear 3 piece suits to meetings.
Telepathy requires dolls.


 -  Index  -  Reviews  -  Rants  -  Links