Cosmos: War of the Planets (1977)

War of the Planets
Cosmos 2000 - Planet Without a Name
Cosmos

Cast:

John Richardson is Captain Alex Hamilton
Yanti Somer is Meela
West Buchanan is Richard
Katia Christine is Greta
Vassili Karis is Peter Segura

What the box says:

Mike Leighton (John Richardson) and his team of astronauts land on an alien world and agree to help its population battle a cyber entity that has taken control of the planet. The world is on a collision course for Earth that will spell certain disaster.

Plot:

The space department sends Captain Hamiliton to investigate a planet sending a strange message. On the way, a crewman goes on a spacewalk ignoring Hamiliton's orders and nearly dies from burning his suit. Thankfully, for him, Hamiliton saves that guy's day.

It's my way or the highway....

Well, months later into the mission, 2 alien ships shoot Hamiliton's ship which barely pulls out. Losing contact with Earth, the ship is pulled to a nearby planet. They try to slow descent when some anti-gravity tractor beam saves them and brings them down on the planet. Let the ship repairs and planetary exploration begin.

Jack one of the crew separtates from everyone and is chased by a robot.

Robbie the Robot seems more practical compared to this thing... Hamiliton and the others start looking for their missing crewman but find him teleported away from where he should be and discover that the messages are being sent from this location.
We knew that Stonehenge had to come from another planet

Aliens surround our Earthers. Ator, the leader and Etor, the clan leader explain that robots were created to serve their planet.

My sister got painted gold thanks to Goldfinger... The robots rebelled and caused a war which Etor's people devolved. Hamiliton agrees to help Etor's people after retrieving weapons from the ship.

On the way to the ship, Hamiliton is teleported by the Supreme Robot Overlord that controls the machines.

The WOPR computer from Wargames doesn't have anything on the Supreme Robot Overlord. It wants Hamiliton to repair some circuitry which will allow it to power up and conquer the galaxy. Hamiliton somehow starts the self destruct switch and teleports away.

The crew and Etor and his people find everyone who was missing and reach the ship while the stock erupting volcano ensues. After takeoff, they contact Earth base. Etor is in his ship crew suit which everyone finds amusing.

Jack is discovered to be possessed by a robot and chases after the crew. Jack versus Etor. Hamiliton takes the brilliant idea to open the airlock in the room where the fight is. Jack and Etor are blown into an explosive decompression of space.

On the bridge, everyone is relieved of the mission. Hamiliton sets course in the ship's computer which replies in the Supreme Robot Overlord voice as the ominous music ends the movie...

What I say:

Prepare for the greatness of Z-grade Italian sci-fi. When Green Slime is the high bar, that bar could trip an ant. With this movie being made in 1977, one has to think that they managed to steal some from Star Wars. The late 1970s syndication of Star Trek had to be part of inspiration. Well, Battlestar Galactica and Space 1999 had to be some of the inspiration with such lousy effects...

I've dropped part of my plot description with it making less sense. Earth sends a ship into space and wants the source of the message destroyed. They send their most rebellious officer who originally refuses to go on this mission for wanting shore leave but he magically agrees on it for no reason. Some of the aliens run into the ship before takeoff. Ator and the others disappear.

A hero tries to act as renegade as Captain Kirk and misses having the acting talent of William Shatner. He keeps mentioning how humanity shouldn't trust machines, must have been one of John Connor's descendants... Not sure how Mike Leighton sounds like Captain Hamiliton. Guess the alias is to fool Skynet from finding him...

Etor gets a crewman's uniform. If they implied barely escaping a galaxy conquering computer and discovering other sentient humanoids in the galaxy, that would be understandable. However, everyone looks amazed at him from this point like he's an animal wearing clothes... The crew seems pretty glad that Etor is fighting the possessed guy since the Red-shirt crew haven't regenerated.

Finally, something in this movie that was stolen into something bigger. The alien computer is Skynet-predecessor... The super-computer has it's plans to rule the galaxy and is definitely an anti-organic being. Most sci-fi at this point want to have some sort of alien as the villain. Robots are a more of a goon.

Keeping track of the characters is another problem. First, the ship's crew look identical especially when none are given names. Is the guy who's suit is burnt at the beginning the same guy who is chased by the robot? Which character gets possessed by the Robot at the end? One of the worst endings in sci-fi and horror movies is the "is it really the ending or not?" ending and we get that ending here. After all, Italian low budget sci-fi isn't know for deep character developments or even sixteenth-way special effects. This ending is a slap in the face of everyone. Bad fanfic writers should have learned that ending has been used so many times...

Quotable Dialogue
"He's talking about the greatest brain created by man."
"Meela, check your apparatus..."
"I want a reliable answer!"
"That's the one! Put it in..."
"Meela, you're the one who's lost contact with life. You've let yourself be conditioned by machines. "
Morals of the Story
Spaceships need seatbelts.
In the future,a right hand cross is a greeting.
In the future, journalists are annoying.
In the future, very pointy toed-boots are manly for non-elves.