Breeders (1986)

Cast:

Theresa Farley is Dr. Gamble Pace
Lance Lewman is Det. Dale Andriotti
Frances Raines is Karinsa
Natalie O'Connell is Donna
Amy Brentano is Gail

What the box says:

Writer/director Tim Kincaid (Robot Holocaust) delivers pulse-pounding suspense, "impressive makeup effects" (Variety) and a bevy of beauties that have to be seen to be believed, in this fast-paced scarefest that pits New York's finest - finest women, that is - against an insidious alien invasion.

When five Manhattan women are accosted under mysterious circumstances, the police that that they've got a twisted serail rapist on their hands. But as Detective Dale Andriotti (Lance Lewman) and Dr. Gamble Pace (Teresa Farley) soon discover, the reality is much worse. Tracing the source of the attacks underground, they find an unstoppable alien prescence that has infested an abandoned subway station and begun to reproduce itself - by impregnating human women! In an explosive showdown for the fate of humanity, Andriotti and Pace come face to face with a creature more horrific than they could ever have imagined...and another whose identity they would have never suspected!

Plot:

In New York City, an angry girl storms out of a taxi from her bad date. In another TOO DARK TO SEE scene, she talks with an old guy which a monster bursts from. The monster attacks her. Later, some guy finds her body.

Dr Gamble Pace meets with Detective Andriotti. They check on the girl, Donna. She awakens and tells them about the German old guy and freaks out. Dr. Pace tells Andriotti about some of the other rape victims and strange substances that can’t be identified. Apparently, all the victims were virgins until the attacks.

At a fashion photo shoot, a model, Karensa is posing before everyone leaving. Let the nude gymnastics very limbering when Ted returns. Ted, the photographer, turns into a monster which gets her.

Hospital, Dr. Pace talks with a scared nurse before the model is brought. Andriotti finds the model is distraught.

In the sewer, bag lady lies down and is attacked by the monster as the ominous music plays.

Detective Andriotti questions a photographer about Ted.

Nurse Cathleen goes home. Getting nervous but still has a shower scene. A cheap scare when she finds her boyfriend, Bret. The monster kills Bret and gets busy with her.

Photographer gets a call from her friend Alex, sexy crazed virgin. Power goes out. The photographer goes to check it out. The monster follows her as the ominous music plays. The creature gets her.

Back at the hospital, a guy brings flowers to Donna and the others.

The photographer gets up.

Andriotti checks with Ted’s mother. Apparently, he’s been gone for 2 days and would explore the tunnels under the city.

At the hospital, the pathology lab, each woman has some sort of brick dust residue which is from underneath the city.

Elsewhere in the hospital, a man is grabbed groinally by the naked Donna who walks off.

The one true definition of "Man Pain." Dr. Pace is called by Andriotti who learns the women have left the hospital.

Some girl is talking to her mother

Is my water running? Why should I chase it? when some burglar breaks in and threatens her.
That's not a knife...Now this is a knife... Suddenly, the monster attacks the punk and turns its attentions to her.

Dr. Pace and Andriotti try to insolate where the dust is from. They realize the Empire State Building is the center of the attacks.

Another naked chick leaves to some underground tunnel.

The dynamic duo realizes the dust comes from another location. He gets a call that the creature is cornered. However, the creature attacks the police. Pace and Andriotti get to the underground tunnel. All the naked chicks are writhing around in a pool. They find a body and red glowing light. Run into Dr Ira Markum who explains about the alien nest. The creature needs pure, untouched women like Dr. Pace.

A hatchling erupts.

I'm here to pick up Jenny for our date... Andriotti struggles with it, but Pace beats the hatchling.

Markum is rambling about Pace will be the mother to Earth’s new masters. He morphs into a monster. Andriotti sets it on fire.

The women are still writhing about, Pace and Andriotti have to destroy all the hatchlings. They realize they’re on in an old train line. Looking to electrify the 3rd rail Pace calls the train authority to start the electrical system. BBQed naked chicks ensue.

Pace and Andriottt leave and are later in bed. Suddenly, Andriotti morph into a creature. Pace wakes up from the nightmare.

What I say:

The mid-1980s was a seeming dry spell for horror movies of the non-slasher type. If Freddy, Jason, Leatherface were kicking back at a summer camp somewhere or taking a ride on the Love Boat on the way to Manhattan, their many, many lesser known cousins were doing the same things in their place. Alien started a small sub-genre of alien movies typically from Italy, the great innovators (or imitarors) of 1980s genre movies. While Alien was a good movie, directors thought tif they jacked up the gore they could skate by without a little thing called quality.

Breeders is a little hard to classify. Is it horror or sci-fi? An alien doesn't make a movie sci-fi. But, with a rampaging alien that needs a little sumthin' sumthin'. Well, it seems more like the rampaging alien monster is the horror type in the Xtro style. Breeders is almost like a sleazy pseudo-remake of Mars Need Women with the implied root monster from Evil Dead with dash of non-political liberal nudity and without Tommy Kirk.

The alien appears throughout the movie as different characters that makes it look like he's able to shapeshift or take over human bodies. The bearded guy is Dr Ira Markum. He pops up in the hospital room of one of the victims almost an hour into the movie and appears several times. Having a character appear so late into a movie and then suddenly learning he's the secret shocking identity of the alien creature is what most people would call a cop-out or lame. No blackstory or and cheaper to keep the effects down. Having the villain just randomly appear out of the air is a simple way to keep from actually explaining any of the plot or story.

Most typical aliens are more determined to want to conquer Earth be they the Battlefield Earth Travoltaites or the more standard flying saucers with death rays in Earth Versus Flying Saucers. We do get some more peculiar aliens in Peter Jackson's The Bad Taste that want to turn the universe onto the newest taste sensations Kentucky fried people or Caucasian, the other white meat. It is very different to get any good aliens like the alien cop determined to stop the evil slug-alien in the Hidden, the bounty hunters in Critters, or even the starfish aliens of Warning From Space determined to help stop a meteor crashing into Earth.

Anyone get the impression somebody thought the idea to make this movie was "let's figure out a way to have some naked chicks in a movie." Mathilda May in Lifeforce wasn't able to walk around as unnoticed as the women in this movie. She was also able to convey more emotion with her vacant face than any of the women in this movie.

Some movies aren't intended to be profound. With a movie like this, you can tell you won't be dealing with anything like Gone With the Wind for that matter, Piranha. It goes without much thought that aliens must be attracted to hot women who happen to be at least gymnastic fashion models. If a movie can't have a pair of buddy cops or cops that become buddies in the end, we better have the cop team up with someone be it the reporter or perhaps the doctor who discovers strange facts that tie into the case. After all, movies wouldn't try to distort the truth, would they?

Quotable Dialogue
"You'd been a lot sorrier with your eyes full of mine."
"It's not like you're after my body."
"I warn you right now I have a tortured history with men."
Morals of the Story
Old guys regularlycontain mosnters.
Selective amnesia is a medical disease.
Clothespins are needed for fashion models.
Tan lines are sexy.
Models live on a magical white powder that is snorted.
Christmas tinsel can be used as a scarf.