All the Kind Strangers (1974)

Cast:

Stacy "Mike Hammer from the 1980s" Keach is Jimmy Wheeler
Samantha "Not quite as crazy as in the Brood" Eggar is Carol Ann
John "From the Deer Hunter to Red Scorpion 2" Savage is Peter
Robby "Maybe Disney will want me for another voice of the Beast in Beauty and the Beast" Benson is John

What the box says:

A family of seven children are living without parents is a swampy backwoods area all by themselves. Some of the children get the idea that it would be good to have parents or guardians to look over them so they take in two strangers and make them the parents they so desperately want. The couple finds that getting away from these children will be more difficult than they imagined.

Plot:

Jimmy Wheeler, photojournalist, is driving down the road in his convertible. He finds Gilbert, a boy, walking down the road and offers to take him back home. At home, Gilbert shows Jim to his brothers and sisters.

Name	Age
Peter	oldest
John	15
Martha
Rita	12
James	11
Gilbert	7
Baby(unnamed)	youngest

Jim is getting creeped out by these kids and heads out. Unfortunately, his car won't work. He'll have to stay overnight and is introduced with "Momma", a lady who tries to sneak Jim a message how she needs help. At dinner, the kids are acting stranger. They reveal that their parents died 5 years earlier. They picked Carol Ann as "Momma" and are thinking about Jim for their new "Pa".

Later that night, Jim learns that a number of men have been tested out as "Pa" but haven't pass the muster. Breaking out of his room, he tries to sneak out of the house but sees a number of hunting dogs outside.

In the morning, Jim discovers that his car has vanished. Looking for Peter, Jim wants his car back. He's taken to a creek where Peter claims the car is. A couple of the other kids toss Jim into the creek when he sees his car at the bottom of the creek.

Later, Carol Ann explains to Jim how the kids will vote on whether or not to keep them. Jim sets a number of chores for the kids. When no one is around, Jim makes another escape attempt but can't Carol Ann behind.

At dinner, Jim decides to stay as their father but orders the kids to let Carol Ann leave. That night, Peter starts scheming on how to get rid of the "parents."

Jim and Carol sneak out and take some food to distract the dogs. Heading out into the woods, the dogs do eventually chase after them. They head through the creek to throw off the scents. However, Peter catches them.

The kids have Jim and Carol tied up. Peter starts the vote to keep them or not. 4 to 3. In the morning, Peter takes Carol and Jim away from the house. He wants to keep the family and getting rid these parents is the best way. The otehr brothers and sisters come out and see Peter with the gun. Jim talks Peter down from the homicidal rage. They head into town to explain things to the locals.

What I say:

Well, a TV-movie from the mid-1970s is from the perfect time of the backwoods Suthern style of Deliverance by way of a family of brothers and sisters who are looking for replacement parents....Hard to think of a movie where 7 kids are determined to look for new parents without it being some sort of rom-com. It's even stranger that these kids want parents to punish them and not spoil them rotten all the time. Today, a deranged family of hillbilly cannibals sounds like the kind of movie it would be.

This movie has Stacy Keach either wanting his car back or to run away. Granted, if you're being held hostage, you'd probably be in a small thinking. He figures out that things are fairly strange very fast. With the movie only being 73 minutes, you have to expect it to not be a slow movie.

Normally, the only directors to get mentioned are Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson. Well, All the Kind Stangers has someone a bit different from that. Burt Kennedy is more of a prolific, standard to get the job done guy. After all, he directed Support Your Local Gunfighter, Support Your Local Sheriff, War Wagon, to Suburban Commando.

This is definitely one of those movies that is in the middle of a 50 or 100 movie DVD packs. It isn't going to be hunted down for a cult classic. All the Kind Strangers does have more recognizable actors than most of these usual movies. John Savage, Robbie Benson, and Stacy Keach from Slave of the Cannibal God. He's probably more known for Mike Hammer in the 1980s or all the crazy character roles for the past 20 years like Titus's dad on that Fox show.

Quotable Dialogue
"Thought yousaid a mile, Gilbert."
"Looks like you'll be havin' supper with us..."
"Pa always says the family sticks together..."
"No more varmints in the house..."
"Now will you please get me some pants."
Morals of the Story
All convertibles are 4x4s.
The "Battle Hymn of the Republic" is a heart-warming children's anthem.
Rattlesnakes should be kept as pets in shoeboxes.
Dogs love biscuits.