Side Order of Ninjas

 -  Index  -  Reviews  -  Rants  -  Links
Latest Reviews

Top 5 Reviews



REVIEWS: 525

     We rate everything on a scale of 0 to 5 NINJAS. Five being the highest...and 0 (so bad you'll want to decapitate yourself and impale your severed head on a tree branch) the worst, we hope...All ratings are subjective. There is no way to watch a movie without judging to some degree from other movies. I'd like to think anyone can kind of see what I would consider a good movie. That doesn't mean a low ninja movie is bad. Odds are it is a better candidate for the MST3K treatment provided you can get some friends to suffer through it with you...

      In the reviews, all the images have the caption below them. So, no need to right-click or mouseover to find any secret messages.

If you have any comments send to sideorderofninjas@yahoo.com

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M
N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z




TitlePlot


A

Abominable Dr. Phibes Can Vincent Price using the 10 Plagues of Egypt on you be a good idea?
Absolution Can any Father Richard Burton ever be good with murders in the area?
Adventures of Ford Fairlane Can Ford Fairlane battle Wayne Newton and the evil known as Smiley?
Adventures of Fu Manchu Can the evil mastermind's insane plans be stopped?
Adventures of Young Van Helsing Can Van Helsing's descendant not be a tool and find the lost scepter?
Akira Can Akira ever be truly explained in this anime review?
Alien Contamination Can humanity stop evil alien chest-bursting eggs?
Alien Species Can humanity stop this alien invasion without Will Smith or Jeff Goldblum?
Alien Zone Can any mortician tell stories of customers without extraterrestrials?
All the Kind Strangers Can a family of 7 kids really want to find new parents?
Alpha Incident Can a microscopic Alien LifeForm sicken humans into party animals?
Amazing Transparent Man Can a bank robber turning invisible be a good idea?
American Vampire Can the surfing vampire slayer ADAM WEST save the day?
Anatomy of a Psycho Can any psycho ever be anatomied?
Ape Can an Ape-suited Boris Karloff cure a paraplegic?
Apeman Can Bela Lugosi not be turned into a monkey because of SCIENCE?
Armitage III: Polymatrix Can hot-pants clad Armitage solve the case killer stalking robots?
Army of Darkness Can Ash defeat the Army of Darkness with his BOOMSTICK!?!?
Assassin Can any killer android defeat the power of ROBERT CONRAD?
Assault on Precinct 13 Can this police precinct survive the night of gang attacks?
Assignment: Outer Space Can a headstrong reporter and by-the-book spaceship captain save Earth?
Astral Factor Can a crazed killer with paranormal skills be stopped?
Astroesque Can not even ninjas atone this completely plotless movie?
Atomic Brain Can brain transplants need fission for the Atomic Brain?
Atomic Rulers of the World Can Starman defeat the atomic weapon wielding would be conquers of Earth?
Attack From Space Can a gunhappy Starman save Earth while breathing in Outer Space?
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman Can it ever be a smart idea to anger any 50 Foot Woman?
Attack of the Beast Creatures Can a group of shipwrecked people survive BEAST CREATURES?
Attack of the Giant Leeches Can giant Leeches stop devouring all the rednecks in the swamp?
Attack of the Monsters Can Gamera defeat the telepathic Cannibal aliens and Guiron?


B

Babysitter Can a mid-life-crisis-suffering prosecutor handle blackmail and the babysitter?
Backyard Dogs Can backyard wrestlers handle the underworld world backyard wrestling?
Bad Taste Can Earth survive aliens hellbent on selling Kentucky Fried People?
Bat Can the masked Bat uncover the secret treasure of the haunted mansion?
Battlefield Earth Can the most generic hero of all stop the evil stilted alien Travolta?
Battle of the Worlds Can Earth survive an extraterrestrial attack from a rogue planet?
Beast of the Yellow Night Can a guy learn that turning into a beast-monster is a bad idea?
Beast of Yucca Flats Can a radioactive Tor Johnson be stopped from killing?
Beatniks Can the gang leader ditch his past to be a swinging singer?
Beginning of the End Can Chicago be saved from the terror of giant locusts or grasshoppers?
Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla Can this comedic duo battle the mad scientific genius of Bela Lugosi?
Big O 2: Volume 1 Can Roger Smith pilot Big O through these new mecha to fight?
Big O 2: Volume 2 Can Roger Smith uncover the shocking truth behind Paradigm City?
Big O 2: Volume 3 Can the memories from 40 years ago be the answer to Paradigm City?
Big O 2: Volume 4 Can Roger Smith answer the final secret of Paradigm City?
Big Trouble in Little China Can the ultra-manly Kurt Russell stop the immortal Chinese Wizard?
Billy Jack Can we get the message about pacifism enough through Billy Jack's kicks?
Billy the Kid Vs Dracula Can gunslingers easily handle the supernatural only if bats are present?
Black Brigade Can Aaron Spelling do a TV-Movie of the Dirty Dozen?
Black Caesar Can trying to stop crime boss Fred "The Hammer" Williamson be smart?
Black Cobra Can any crazy gang handle Fred "The Hammer" Williamson?
Black Cobra 2 Can any country handle the power of Fred "The Hammer" Williamson?
Black Dragons Can the Lone Ranger discover what evil Bela Lugosi is up to?
Black Room Can Boris Karloff or his twin survive any family curse?
Blob Can Steven McQueen stop killer gelatinous space goo?
Blob (1988) Can killer gelatinous goo be stopped by a rebel and a cheerleader?
BloodFight Can any martial artist not a feud solved in a BloodFight?
Blood Mania Can any doctor being blackmailed have a happy ending?
Blood of Dracula's Castle Can trying to evict vampires from your castle ever be a good idea?
BloodRayne Can any video game based half-vampires not get revenge against a vampire warlord?
Blood Tide Can the voice of Darth Vader stop a sea monster?
Bloody Pit of Horror Can the evil wrestler revenge the world of supermodels?
BMX Bandits Can Nicole Kidman get her trendy BMX-bike and foil robbers, too?
BodyGuard Can Sonny Chiba defeat the evil drug trade?
Brainiac Can a brain eating monster get revenge 300 years too late?
Brain Machine Can the scientific project not be E-villllllllll in the 1970s?
Brain That Wouldn't Die Can a brain and monster get the revenge they crave?
Brain Twisters Can tampering with brains and computers not lead to madness and murder?
Breakout From Oppression Can wrongly convicted not be targeted for revenge in elaborate schemes?
Breeders Can any New Yorkers stop aliens who think Earth is the nookie palace?
Bride of the Gorilla Can a cursed Raymond Burr have a happy life?
Brood Can the killer psycho midgets be stopped in time?
Bruce Lee Fights Back From the Grave Can Karate fights coherency into this exploitation of Bruce Lee's name?
Bruce Lee the Invincible Can anything attain the level of martial arts battles with Kung Fu Gorillas?
Bruce Lee: the Man, the Myth Can Bruce Lee's life story can be told with the Mafia involved?
Bubba Ho-Tep Can an elderly Elvis and JFK end the terror of this soul sucking mummy?
Bucket of Blood Can a busboy impress the dirty beatniks with his sculptures?


C

Cabin Fever Can a flesh-eating virus eliminate these annoying characters faster?
Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter Can a swashbuckling hero hunt a vampire and get the hot Gypsy chick?
Carnival of Souls Can Mary discover why the Creepy Zombie Guy is stalking her ?
Carnivore Can a group of idiot teens get killed by a carnivorous monster?
Catman in Boxer's Blow Can Catman make an apperance in this movie?
Catman in Lethal Track Can Catman stop the evil pyrokinetic Reverend Cheever?
Champ Against Champ Can any evil mayor not anger the lone martial artist returning to town?
Child Bride Can the SCANDAL of child marriage be stopped in time?
Chinese Ghost Story:Tsui Hark Animation Can a tax collector and ghost find happiness and escape an exorcist monk?
Chopper Chicks in Zombietown Can this gang of biker chicks stop an army of battery powered zombies?
Cleopatra Jones Can Cleopatra Jones put a stop to the drug queen-pin called Mommy?
Cold Room Can flipping between decades actually be this irritaing and dull?
Colossus & the Amazon Queen Can Glauco rescue his buds who've been captured by the Amazons?
Concrete Cowboys Can 2 cowboys solve the mystery and not get east bound and down?
C.O.P.S. Can Future COPS stop the future crooks in this blazing 80s cartoon?
Corpse Vanishes Can a plucky reporter uncover Bela Lugosi's nefarious scheme in time?
Corruption Can Dr. Peter Cushing be nagged at until he kills?
Cosmos: War of the Planets Can any humans stop the evil robotic entity determined to conquer the galaxy?
CounterBlast Can the evil scientist be stopped from completing his genetic warfare?
Country Blue Can any 1970s movie have enough car chases without CBs?
Crawling Hand Can the astronaut's severed killer hand be stopped before it is too late?
Creature from the Haunted Sea Can the Mafia get the gold and not be captured by SECRET AGENT DWEEB?
Creeper Can a pack of camping doctors survive any crazed wilderness stalkers?
Creepshow Can the Creepkeeper tell the tales of this horror comic book movie?
Crippled Masters Can a no-armed man and a no-legged man mightily Kung Fu their enemies?
Critters Can Space Bounty Hunters catch Carnivorous Super Tribbles?
Crucible of Horror Can a mother and daughter plot the the perfect murder of top dad?
Curse of Bigfoot Can 1970s teenagers defeat a mummified bigfoot?
Curse of the Mummy's Tomb Can the curse of the Mummy's tomb be stopped in time?
Curse of the Swamp Monster Can our rugged hero defeat the mad scientist and swamp monster?
Crypt of Horror Can the witch be stopped from getting her vengeance?
Cyborg 2 Can Angelina Jolie escape an evil corporation with Jack Palance's help?
Cyclops Can any giant cyclops have a quality life if having to fight supersnakes?


D

Damien: Omen 2 Can a boy in military academy really be the antiChrist?
Day of the Panther Can any drug cartels not suffer at the hands of the Panther Clan?
Day the Sky Explodes Can humanity prevent a swarm of asteroids from crashing into the Earth?
Dead Alive Can Lionel, uber-mamma's boy, stop the horror of a gaggle of zombies?
Dead-End Drive-In Can a man and his Chevy break out of the prison camp at a Drive-In?
Dead Hate the Living Can this film crew survive a band of zombies lead by Rob Zombie?
Deadly China Hero Can Jet Li stop to the fire breathing centipede?
Deadly Impact Can Fred "the Hammer" Williamson just be a sidekick in a movie?
Dead Men Walk Can a guy stop his twin vampire brother?
Death in the Shadows Can any murder not be solved in the 1980s?
Death Journey Can trying to stop Fred "the Hammer" Williamson ever be a good idea?
Death Kick Can super lawyer survive the fighters his ex-clients have hired?
Death Race 2000 Can evil Rocky beat heroic Frankenstein as they race over pedestrians?
Death Warmed Up Can a mad scientist experimenting on human brains without creating some sort of psycho-zombies?
Delinquent Daughters Can anyone in the 1940s decypher the mind of any teenagers?
Delta Force 2 Can any drug kingpin battle Chuck Norris?
Dementia 13 Can an unsaned Axe-Man stop from killing around this Irish castle ?
Destroy All Planets Can Gamera, the giant flying turtle, save Earth from evil aliens this day?
Devil Bat Can Bela Lugosi use a giant bat to kill his aftershave wearing enemies?
Devil in the Flesh Can Rose McGowan win the love of the goofy, manly teacher?
Devil With 7 Faces Can jewel thieves and mistaken identity not be a European thriller?
Devil's Hand Can the dangers of the voodoo cult be explained at a doll store?
Devil's Nightmare Can anyone survive the European succubus?
Devil's Possessed Can Robin Hood and his Merry Men contend the Spanish Inquisition or a reasonable facsimile?
Dick Tracy Can Dick Tracy uncover who the slasher serial killer is in time ?
Dick Tracy Meets Gruesome Can Dick Tracy stop the nefarious plans of Boris Karloff?
Dick Tracy TV Series Can Dick Tracy handle this motley crew of gangsters?
Die, Die, My Darling! Can a crazy old woman brainwash her future daughter-in-law?
Dirty Ho Can anyone be interested in this movie without the title?
Disappearance of Flight 412 Can the MIBs contend with Glenn Ford?
Django Can Django use what's in the coffin he drags around with him?
Django Strikes Again Can Django rescue his daughter Rambo style?
Dog Soldiers Can a platoon of soldiers survive a pack of werewolves?
Don't Answer the Phone Can any crazed killer not be caught by the 1980s super-cop?
Don't Open Till Christmas Can you not open this fatal package of Santa's goodies?
Doomsday Machine Can Earth be saved from the ultimate Doomsday Machine?
Double Exposure Can a photographer decypher the nightmarish murders he keeps dreaming?
Double O Kid Can spy-in-training Corey Haim defeat the evil Brigette Nielsen?
Dragon Lee Vs the 5 Brothers Can the rebels survive the evil overlord attempting to conquer the empire?
Dragon's Infernal Showdown Can an orphaned kung fu student get revenge on who killed his family?
Dr. Blood's Coffin Can Dr Blood reanimate the dead by giving them a living heart?
Dr. Jeyll and the Werewolf Can a werewolf transforming into a Hyde-an-thrope disco-dancing be a good idea?
Dreamaniac Can any heavy metal musician make a good deal with demons?
Duel to the Death Can these swordmasters duel without those interefering, pesky ninjas?
Dungeon of Harrow Can exiled, insane royalty not want to torture their few ship-wrecked visitors?


E

Earth vs the Flying Saucers Can the world defeat the evil aliens bent on conquest?
Eastern Condors Can Sammo Hung complete this suicide mission without Lee Marvin?
Eegah Can Jaws the Caveman win the maiden fair from the director's son?
8 Legged Freaks Can a small town handle the onslaught of killer giant spiders?
Embalmer Can a wet-suited, crazy Embalmer terrorize Venice, Italy?
Embryo Can Dr. Rock Hudson tamper in the Frankenstein sciences without a killer monster?
End of the World Can natural disasters and extraterrestrials not be connected?
Epoch Can the mystery of the alien artifact be discovered in time?
Eternal Evil Can astral projection not lead to murder in movies?
Evel Knievel Can George Hamiliton jump over cars as well as the plot?
Evil Brain From Outer Space Can Starman defeat the Evil Brain and his army dressed as Batmen?
Evil Dead 2 Can the Groovy Ash defeat the hordes of the Evil Dead?


F

Fangs of the Living Dead Can your vampiric sorcerous family wanting you to be closer be good?
Fantastic Four Can the Fantastic Four defeat the villainous Doctor Doom?
Fantasy Mission Force Can Jackie Chan free Abraham Lincoln from Japanese Nazis?
Fast and the Furious Can this unlikely pair fall in love and run from the cops, too?
Fat Spy Can this wild bunch of teens have a party with Phyllis Diller around?
Final Fantasy: Spirits Within Can these computer generated 8 spirits be gathered to save the world?
First Spaceship On Venus Can an expedition to Venus not have such a 1960s message attached?
Fist of Fear, Touch of Death Can these people cash in on the memory of Bruce Lee?
Fist of Fury Can Bruce Lee demonstrate you don't want to feel his fists of fury?
Fists of Bruce Lee Can Bruce Li Kung Fu in the manner of Bruce Lee?
Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe Can Flash Gordon save and conquer the universe in only 88 minutes?
Flesh & Blood Can a sword-wielding Rutger Hauer get revenge on a treacherous noble?
Fortress Can Christopher Lambert survive the terror of the intestinator?
$4 of Revenge Can every wronged man run out long enough to prove his innocence?
For Your Height Only Can any villains compete with a 3 foot midget super-spy?
Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell Can Peter Cushing create Darth Vader in the 1800s?
Frankenstein 80 Can Frankenstein not ever want to make a monster?
FreeJack Can Emilio Estevez escape the evil bonejacking Mick Jagger?
Freeway Can Reese Witherspoon stop the Evil Disfigured Keifer Sutherlund?
Frighteners Can Marty McFly battle the Grim Reaper to the after-death?
Frogs Can Frogs menace Sam Elliott when they never do anything evil?
Frozen Alive Can our hero prove he didn't put the audience in suspended animation?
Full Contact Can someone actually think betraying Chow Yun-Fat was a good idea?
Fury of the Wolfman Can werewolves be mentally controlled by mad scientists?
Future War Can one kickboxer stop an army of dinosaurs and a killer cyborg?


G

Galaxis Can Ladera stop the evil lightning throwing Richard Moll?
Galaxy Invader Can an alien escape a bunch of drunken rednecks?
Gamera the Invincible Can KENNY abandon his obsession with giant flying turtles?
Gamera Vs Monster X Can Gamera stop the evil Jiger from destroying the World's Fair?
Gen 13 Can a new group of teen superheroes save the world?
Ghost in the Shell Can an elite cyborg hottie uncover the secret of the Puppet Master?
Ghost Patrol Can one cowboy stop the dastardly plane crashing ray?
Giant Gila Monster Can the local bunch teen hotrodders handle an enormous reptile?
Giant of Marathon Can Steve Reeves save Athens from traitors and woo a blonde chick, too?
Giant Spider Invasion Can Wisconsin defeat the evil of a giant car-sized spider?
Giants of Rome Can a Roman commando group defeat the Druidic ultimate weapon?
GI Joe: Mass DeviceCan the Joes stop Cobra from teleporting their way to world domination?
GI Joe the Movie Can the totally irresponsible Lt. Falcon save the world?
Ginger Snaps Can Ginger keep from living up to the title of this movie?
G-Men From Hell Can 2 hardboiled Feds escape ROBERT GOULET and get into Heaven?
Godzilla 2000Can Godzilla stop a UFO disguised as a meteor piloted by an alien?
Godzilla Versus Mothra Can Japan survive when a giant lizard and a moth collide?
Godzilla's Revenge Can our psychopath Ichiro hallucinate enough about Godzilla and Minya?
Good Against Evil Can the 1970s have a pilot tv-movie of Exorcist and Omen?
Grave of the Vampire Can any vampire be friendly with their father?
Graveyard Shift Can anyone work in a Stephen King factory and survive with angry rat monsters?
Great St. Louis Bank Robbery Can Steve McQueen rob a bank and not become the backdoor man?
Green Eyes Can green eyes solve a murder mystery movie that's in black and white?
Green Slime Can Captain Jerk stop the evil of the GREEN SLIME?
Guru, the Mad Monk Can body-snatching be a money-making profit when you're named Guru?


H

Hands of Steel Can a cyborg assassin override his programming and still arm-wrestle?
Hard Rock Zombies Can an undead rock band stop Hitler and his freaky family?
Harlock Saga Can Captain Harlock retrieve the magic gold to save the universe?
Hellcats Can the dead be avenged by joining a biker gang?
Hell Comes to Frogtown Can Roddy Piper rescue the maidens fair from the mutant frogs?
Hell Up in Harlem Can the mob learn not to anger Fred "The Hammer" Williamson?
Hercules Can the mighty Hercules complete his trials with very sweaty guys?
Hercules Against the Moon Men Can lunar aliens defeat Hercules in ancient Greece?
Hercules & the Captive WomenCan Hercules keep saving the same woman enough times from Atlantis?
Hercules & the Masked Rider Can a masked do-gooder and Hercules stop the evil duke?
Hercules & the Tyrants of Babylon Can Hercules take on Babylon and rescue the kidnapped queen?
Hercules in New York Can Hercules survive in the modern world?
Hercules Unchained Can an amnesiac Hercules still save the day?
Heroic Trio Can an evil wizard not anger the ninjaliscious Heroic Trio?
Hidden Can this unlikely duo stop an evil alien slug-beast?
Hidden 2 Can a new alien stop this flock of evil alien slug beasts?
High School Confidential Can the dangers of 1950s drugs be stopped in the culture of teen punks?
H-Man Can Japan handle gangsters, killer goo, and radiation sickness?
Homicidal Can this movie not be considered the William Castle attempt at Psycho?
Horror Hotel Can the witches in this small cursed town be stopped?
Horror of the Zombies Can models and zombies ever get together to party without any bad side effects?
Horror Rises From the Tomb How any de-capitated warlock be buried for centuries and be happy about it?
Horrors on Spider Island Can dancers trapped on an island survive any spider monster?
Hot Rod Girl Can the Rifleman tame the hot rodders of the city?
House by the Cemetery Can the family discover a zombie doctor is living in the basement?
House of the Dead Can any group survive zombies and the directorial power of Uwe Boll?
House of the Living Dead Can any movie with "Living Dead" in the title at least have one zombie?
House on Haunted Hill Can this haunted house party survive the ghosts until the morning?
House That Screamed Can a European private girls school not have a bad end in the 1970s?
Howard the Duck Can a 3 foot duck woo Lea Thompson and stop the DARK OVERLORDS?
How Awful About Alan Can any Anthony Perkins movie not seem like Psycho?
Human Monster Can Bela Lugosi be an evil insurance agent in London?


I

Idaho Transfer Can time travel in Idaho ever be a good idea?
I Eat Your Skin Can a novelist stop an army of zombies on Voodoo Island?
I Married a Monster From Outer Space Can any extraterrestrial marriages really work under false pretenses?
I Was a Communist for the FBI Can any communists schemes not be stopped by G-MEN?
Image of Bruce Lee Can any Brucespolitation movie not have a cop trying to break a criminal gang?
Incredible Petrified World Can a diving bell crew escape being trapped underwater?
Indestructible Man Can an undead revenge-seeking Lon Chaney Jr. be a good idea?
Inhumanoids: Evil That Lies Within Can these heroic scientists stop monsters from the CENTER of the Earth?
Innocent Blood Can the hot vampire chick stop a legion of vampire mobsters?
Inside Man Can this movie not be the worst movie I've reviewed?
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale Can any evil wizard stand against KING BURT REYNOLDS and Jason Statham?
In the Shadow of Kilimanjaro Can Gimli the Dwarf stop the armies of baboons?
Invisible Ghost Can a ghost drive Bela Lugosi to murder?
Iron Monkey 2 Can Iron Monkey's descendent save the day?
It Happened at Nightmare Inn Can anyone stay at this Inn and not suffer its NIGHTMARE?
It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time Can these shenanigans be funny outside of the 1970s?


J

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter Can Jesse James defeat Frankenstein's granddaughter?
Jive Turkey Can any battle involving the black gangsters and the Italian Mob be passive?
Johnny Mnemonic Can Keanu Reeves save the world with what's in his head?
Josh Kirby:Time Warrior:Trapped in Toyworld Can the Time Warrior survive a world of living toys?
Justice League America pilot Can an evil "Weatherman" defeat the mighty Justice League of America?


K

Keep My Grave Open Can any movie be made to look like it ripped this much off Psycho?
Kill Cruise Can this not seem like a rip off of Dead Calm?
Killer Klowns From Outer Space Can these evil Klowns be stopped before escaping in their big top UFO?
Killer Meteor Can the Killer Meteor save the evil Jackie Chan from dying?
Killers From Space Can Peter Graves resist his alien brainwashing and be a real American?
Killer Shrews Can Sheriff Roscoe Coltrante survive giant poisonous killer shrews
King Kong Versus Godzilla Can Kong and Godzilla settle their difference in a battle to the death?
King of Kong Island Can there be a King on a non-existent island with jungle stock footage?
King of the Zombies Can our intrepid heroes uncover the nefarious Voodoo-Zombie plot?
Klansman Can any group stand against the power of OJ Simpson and Lee Marvin?
Kung Fu Fever Can a 70s martial artist not be concerned with "Secret" Bruce Lee training?
Kung Fu Hustle Can a wannabe gangster learn to be an expert Kung Fu Master?
Kung Fu-Invisible Fist Can Crazy Dragon versus Hungry Tiger not be true Kung Fuin'?


L

Lady Frankenstein Can Lady Frankenstein get her freak on and Feed her Frankenstein, too?
Lake Placid Can the killer crocodile be stopped in time?
Laserhawk Can a teenager fly a spaceship to save humanity from hungry Arachnoids?
Laser Mission Can Brandon Lee rescue the German scientist Ernest Borgnine?
Last Gun Can any Western town not need a masked gunfighter when gangs ride in?
Last Man on Earth Can Vincent Price stop the teeming legions of the undead?
Last Samurai Can more than a single scene with a monkey redeem this movie?
Last Starfighter Can playing a video game long enough let you save the universe?
L.A. Streetfighters Can any respectable street gang Kung Fu and breakdance?
Legend of the 8 Samurai Can Sonny Chiba's group of Samurai defeat the evil Creepy Witch Woman?
Legend of Boggy Creek Can the mystery of the Boggy Creek monster be discovered?
Li'l Abner Can Lil Abner avoid being trapped on Sadie Hawkins Day?
Little Shop of Horrors Can plants craving human blood be a good idea?
Lost Jungle Can Clyde "Lion Tamer" Beatty not save the day on the Lost Jungle?
Lost Missile Can anything on Earth stop the missile and dreaded scientist marriages?
Lucifer Complex Can any superspy stop this nefarious scheme by crazed scientists?


M

Mad Dog Can a crazed killer get revenge on the police who is after him just as much?
Madmen of Mandoras Can a WW 2 dictator's brain wanting to rule the world be a good idea?
Mad Monster Can SCIENCE create an army of werewolves for revenge and profit?
Magic Sword Can Sir George free the maiden fair from Basil Rathbone?
Maniac Can the perils of mental illness be defeated by an ex-vaudeville actor?
Maniac Cop Can Bruce Campbell stop the MANIAC COP?
Manos, the Hands of Fate Can Torgo not anger the Master?
Manster Can a man be half monster and all jerk in Japan?
MarihuanaCan undercover reporters learn the secret dangers of drugs and teenagers?
Massacre Can I really think of a way to describe the plot that doesn't suck on toast?
Master Can the world handle a ninja teaching Timothy Van Patten ninja skills?
Mean Guns Can the Highlander survive Ice-T's Battle Royale?
Mean Johnny Barrows Can mobsters learn not to anger Fred "The Hammer" Williamson"?
Meet the Feebles Can the audience stand the back stage antics of the Feebles Variety Hour?
Merlin: The Return Can Merlin and some kids stop the evil Tia Carrere?
Mesa of the Lost Women Can anyone survive a desert filled by Uncle Fester's spider-women?
Messiah of Evil Can a small town have a secret history of zombies?
MindWarp Can in the future the Tall Man face Bruce Campbell?
Mistress of Atlantis Can any lost kingdom not have a tyrannical queen?
Mole Men Against the Son of Hercules Can any Mole Men stand against the Son of Hercules?
Monster From a Prehistoric Planet Can a baby monster be rescued by its invincible parents who trash Tokyo?
Monster That Challenged the World Can the Navy stop the killer giant snails?
Monstroid Can a "based on real life" monster be anywhere near a realm of reality?
Moon of the Wolf Can the werewolf stopped by the FUGITIVE?
Mr. Wong, Detective Can Frankenstein's Monster solve the murder mystery?
Murder Mansion Can this manion not only have witches, vampires, ghosts, and mur-derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?
Mutant Can mutant-zombies in the South be good?


N

Nabonga Gorilla Can any guy wandering in the jungle not run across a Sheena ripoff?
Naked Space Can this Alien spoof have a single funny moment?
Near Dark Can our hero, Caleb, survive the evil that arrives NEAR DARK?
Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD Can any terrorists have their evil masterplans succeed against David Hasslehoff: Nick Fury?
Night Evelyn Came out of the Grave Can the ghost of a noble's wife get her revenge?
Night Fright Can this generic monster terrorize the lunchmeat gang?
Nightmare Castle Can these vengeful ghosts get their revenge?
Nightmare in Wax Can a disfigurred guy not be seeking revenge for those who wronged him?
Nightmare Never Ends Can anyone stay awake to keep from this never-ending nightmare?
Night of the Blood Beast Can the Blood Beast survive both the day and the night?
Night of Bloody Horror Can enough psychological terror bloody horrify this night?
Night of the Creeps Can brain leeches ensue hilarity on a college with zombie frat guys?
Night of the Demons 2 Can Angela's party be stopped by one ninja nun?
Night of the Lepus Can humanity resist the battling bignormous bunnies?
Night of the Shark Can Treat Williams get revenge on those who killed his brother?
Night Tide Can Dennis Hopper figure out if he's dating a killer mermaid?
Ninja Death 1 Can anyone stop those pesky ninjas?
Ninja Destroyer Can ninjas randomly appear enough to make this movie interesting?
Ninja in the Killing Fields Can the heroic Ninja defeat the evil drug-dealing ninjas?
Ninja Resurrection Can a single samurai stop the evil pretty boy?
Ninja Wars Can a lone ninja stop the evil Devil Monks who use Vomit-FU?
Now They Call Him Sacremento Can a wrong be eventually righted by enough robberies and town-destroying fights?


O

Omega Cop Can the kung fu Omega Cop save Adam West and the future?
One Armed Executioner Can a criminal enterprise be stopped by a wrathful one-armed cop?
Opium Connection Can the war on drugs ever be won by the United Nations?


P

Panic Can Captain Kirk stop the monster and save the city from the quarantine in time?
Parasite Eve Can the ultimate biologial nightmare be stopped in time?
Perils of the Jungle Can hunting wild game in the African jungle be a good idea?
Phantasm Can anyone stand against the power of the Tall Man's flying silver balls?
Phantom Creeps Can the world stop the evil mad scientist, Bela Lugosi?
Phantom from Space Can an invisible alien that kills people be so dull?
Phantom Planet Can any Earth astronaut help a planet of aliens against more evil aliens?
Phantom Raiders Can an elite commando group destroy the commie terrorist camp?
Pinata Survival Island Can the underwear collecting college coeds survive the evil piņata?
Piranha Can our intrepid heroes stop the ravenous hordes of...(it's the title)?
Piranha 2: the Spawning Can the flying piranhas stopped before ruining the resort's annual festival?
Piranha, Piranha Can double the amount of piranhas in the title mean there are any at all?
Pitch Black Can this marooned group survive the night against man-eating aliens?
Plan 9 From Outer Space Can the aliens using zombies prevent Earth from destroying the universe?
Planet Outlaws Can future Earth not be saved by Buck Rogers?
Pocket Ninjas Can a group of midget ninjas defeat Cobra Khan and confuse the viewers?
Point of Terror Can suspense and early 1970s music not crash into a horrific amagalmation?
Prehistoric Women Can the discovery of fire unite tribes of men and women?
Prime Evil Can a sect of evil monks not be found in New York City?
Prisoner in the Middle Can the nuclear warhead be disarmed in time by the elite squad?
Prisoner of the Lost Universe Can dimensionally travelling humans free other worlds from evil warlords?
Project A Can Jackie Chan defeat the villainous pirates?
Prom Night Can a pesky killer wreak havoc upon the Disco Prom?
Punisher Can Dolph Lungren play the Punisher without a shred of continuity?
Puppet Masters Can a secret government agency stop aliens from conquering the world?


Q

Queen of the Amazons Can any 1940s Jungle Adventure not have stock animal footage?


R

Radio Ranch Can breaking into country songs seem appropriate when fighting underground conquerors?
Rage of the Masters Can I describe the plot without saying Kung Fu "Coward of the County"?
Real American Hero Can Sheriff Buford Pusser stop the evil bootleggers?
Real Bruce Lee Can random footage of Dragon Lee become a documentary of Bruce Lee?
Reefer Madness Can the devil weed be stopped before ruining the lives of our heroes?
The Refrigerator Can murderous fridges that are portals to evil dimensions ever be a good idea?
Reign in Darkness Can our leather clad vampire save humanity from the legions of vampires?
Replacement Killers Can a crime boss think trying to kill Chow Yun Fat is a good idea?
Resident Evil Can Alice, the zombie dog kung fuer, stop the hordes of the walking dead
Resident Evil: Apocalypse Can Alice make it out of Raccoon City before the walking dead?
Resident Evil: Extinction Can zombies in sand-worn Vegas stay in a sand-worn Vegas?
Return of the Living Dead Can this diverse group of victims survive the BRAIN-eating zombies
Return of the StreetFighter Can the StreetFighter survive when everyone is against him?
Return to Horror High Can a movie crew survive the murderer that killed years ago on location?
Return to the 36th Chamber Can the conman Chun learn the secrets of the 36th Chamber?
Revenge of the Ninja Can anyone think angering a retired ninja is a good idea?
Revolt of the Zombies Can the power of love stop a zombie master?
Ring of Terror Can fraternity initiations, autopsies, and pranks not end badly?
Robo Vampire Can the poor man's Robocop defeat an army of hopping vampires?
Robot Pilot Can illegal captivity improve remotely-controlled planes?
Robot Versus the Aztec Mummy Can the world exist without a Robot/Mummy battle?
Rocky Jones Space Ranger: Crash of the Moons Can any space danger overpower Rocky Jones: Space RANGER?
Rocky Jones Space Ranger: Menace From Outer Space Can any Menace From Space handle Rocky Jones?
Rumble in the Bronx Can Jackie Chan battle in the Bronx and survive the HOVERCRAFT?


S

Sadist Can the captive group manage to eascape the deranged ARCH HALL JR.?
Samson in the Wax Museum Can a masked wrestling detective solve the mystery of the Wax Museum?
Santa Claus Can Santa defeat the evil devil Pitch for the children of the world?
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians Can kidnapping Santa Claus solve the problems of Mars?
Santa Claus the Movie Can an elven, Dudley Moore, save Christmas from the evil toy corporation?
Satanic Rites of Dracula Can Van Helsing battle Dracula to the death in the styling 1970s?
Satan's Slave Can a creepy uncle not need his niece for any kind of sacrifice?
Savage Weekend Can there be any ordinary non-Deliverance people living in rural areas?
Scarecrow Can this possessed Scarecrow get his vengeance on his tormentors?
Scarecrow: Slayer Can screaming gal escape her boyfriend who is a possessed evil scarecrow?
Scared to Death Can the only color Bela Lugosi-midget movie be so train-wreckingian?
Screaming Skull Can the screaming skull scream without vocal chords?
Screaming Tiger Can any martial arts master not be seeking revenge and not have a tiger?
Seniors Can 4 college seniors make any money by the worlds oldest profession?
Seven Guns For Timothy Can I not call this bad attempt at the Magnificent Seven?
Severed Arm Can taking someone's arm for food not end up in bad taste?
Shack Out on 101 Can any spy ring run by Lee Marvin be stopped?
Shadow of Chinatown Can any reporters stop the mad scientificness of Bela Lugosi?
Shaft Can Shaft be a bad-mutha "Shut your mouth, just talking about Shaft"?
Shaft in Africa Can Shaft crack the slavery ring?
Shaft's Big Score Can Shaft crack the case of his dead friend and survive the mob?
Shaolin Deadly Kicks Can any constable defeat the Eight Dragon, bandits?
Shaolin Soccer Can the Shaolin Soccer Team defeat Team Evil?
She Gods of Shark Reef Can brothers shipwrecked on an island only with women be a good thing?
Shiri Can our special agents stop the mysterious sniper?
Shrunken Heads Can shrunken heads with the power of Voodoo stop all criminals?
Sh!!! The Octopus Can the Octopus have 8 tentacles, pilot a sub, and conquer the world?
Shogun's Ninja Can the battling ninjas end their blood feud?
Sister StreetFighter Can it be called a StreetFighter movie if Sonny doesn't growl?
Sisters of Death Can these coeds survive this deadly reunion?
Six String Samurai Can the katana wielding Buddy Holly defeat the Grim Reaper Slash?
Slave of the Cannibal God Can Cannibals distract us from the monkey being eaten by a snake?
Sleepstalker Sandman's Last Rites Can the Sandman ever be stopped?
Slipstream Can Bill Paxton escape the fearsome Mark Hamill?
Slither Can one sheriff stop a super-carnivorous alien from devouring all life on Earth?
Snakes on a Plane Can a plane full of snakes battle Mace Windu?
Snake Crane Secret Can the secret book reveal the magnificent Snake Crane Secret?
Snake People Can the voodoo cult be stopped if run by a creepy midget?
Snowbeast Can a ski lodge stand Bigfoot's rampage?
Snow Creature Can any rampaging Yeti have a good time in LA?
Snow Devils Can astronauts stop the evil climate changing aliens?
Son of Ingagi Can any newlywed couple handle a house with a homicidal ape-man?
Sons of Hercules: Land of Darkness Can cannibalistic dwellers not be defeated by a relative of Hercules?
Spawn Can Spawn uncover his past while battling mobsters, CIA, and demons?
Spawn 2 Can Spawn keep bury the demons that haunt him?
Spawn 3 Can Spawn survive Heaven's bounty hunters?
Spider BabyCan anyone want to claim to be related to this family?
Spirit (2008) Can a business suited-superhero defeat a chicken-feared Mace Windu?
Spirit HunterCan a ghost solve his own murder while being chased by the Spirit Hunter?
Stanley Can any guy have a rattlesnakes for friends with no biting?
Star Odyssey Can a sci-fi Dirty Dozen defeat extraterrestial auction-buyers of Earth?
Star Wars Holiday Special Can you watch a movie George Lucas doesn't want you to see?
Street Fighter Can the Street Fighter do the infamous X-Ray punch to the skull?
StreetFighter's Last Revenge Can the StreetFighter defeat the Mob?
Stuff Can the evil dessert sweeping the country be stopped?
Swamp Thing Can a scientific formula that turns you partially into a plant be a good idea?
36 Shaolin Beads Can our intrepid heroes defeat the ghosts using the SUPER NEEDLE GUN?


T

Teenager Crime Wave Can any group of people survive criminal teenagers in the 1950s?
Teenagers From Outer Space Can Derrick the alien defeat Thor to save Earth?
Teenage Zombies Can a mad scientist create her own army of various TEENAGE ZOMBIES?
Tell-Tale Heart Can enough psychological terror warp you with the beating of "an infernal heart"?
Tenchi the Movie Can Tenchi and a gaggle of brightly hair colored chicks stop this evil alien?
Terminal Invasion Can convict BRUCE CAMPBELL stop an alien invasion?
Terrified Can being chased by a hooded killer not drive you TERRIFIED???
Terror Can Jack Nicholson discover the secrets that haunt Boris Karloff's castle?
Terror (1978) Can a witch haunting the descendants of her executors ever be a good?
Terror At the Red Wolf Inn Can an all-expenses paid vacation ever be a good idea?
Terror Creatures From the Grave Can summoning plague carriers to hunt down your enemies be a good idea?
Terror in Tiny Town Can the midget cattle rustlers be stopped in time?
Terror of MechaGodzilla Can our Godzilla defend the Earth from his robotic doppelganger?
They Can They truly be that unspeakable and undescribable?
They Came From Beyond Space Can a small band of scientists stop mind controlling aliens?
The Thirsty Dead Can anyone survive the blood-drinking immortal cult in the jungle?
13 Ghosts Can a family live in a mansion haunted without ensuing wackiness?
This Is Not a Test Can using a semi truck as a bomb shelter be a good idea?
Thunder Prince Can Andy and a monkey stop the evil Black Mantis?
Tormented Can any woman falling off a lighthouse not haunt their boyfriend?
Trancers Can Jack Deth and Helen Hunt stop the time traveling cult leader Whistler?
Tremors Can Kevin Bacon and Remo Williams defeat giant man-eating worms?
Tremors 2: Aftershocks Can Remo Williams handle giant worms in a Mexican oil field?
Tremors 3: Back to Perfection Can a new batch of methane emitting worms be stopped by Burt, gun nut?
Tremors 4: The Legend Begins Can giant man-eating worms face HIGH NOON in the Old West?
Trick or Treat Can Skippy defeat the evil of Rock and Roll?
Trip With the Teacher Can teen girls relying on bikers to tow their schoolbus ever be good idea?
Trog Can an unfrozen caveman adjust to society at Joan Crawford's behest?
Truck Turner Can Isaac Hayes, skip tracer, stop the pimps wanting him dead?
20 Million Miles to Earth Can Rome not be a tourist attraction with Venusian & elephant fighting?
27th DayCan aliens give Earth deadly weapons without us blowing up the planet?
Twister's Revenge Can the world endure an Artificially-Intelligent monster truck seeking revenge?


U

UFO: Target Earth Can TVs and UFOs not seem like 2001:Space Odyssey?
UltraMan 2 Can UltraMan defeat the evil monsters attacking Earth?
UltraVioletCan any oppressive government stand against a vampiric Milla Jovovich?
Undertaker and his Pals Can you not order the Blue Plate Special with all the murders occurring?
Underworld Can gun-wielding vampires and werewolves be Romeo and Juliet?
Underworld Evolution Can a cat-suit vampiric Kate Beckinsale use enough firepower in this sequel?
Unknown World Can the journey to not quite the center of the world save humanity?
Unnamable 2 Can our intrepid nerd save the nubile Alyda from a demonic Julie Strain?
Unnatural Can a scientist create a killing monster into the "perfect woman"?
Unsane (Tenebrae) Can a writer and a police detective stop this literary inspired killer?


V

Vampire Hunter D Can ultra-cool D end the bloody reign of the evil Count?
Vampire Wars Can vampire exterminators find enough vampires to terminate in SPACE?!?
Versus Can a samurai fight zombies in the Resurrection Forest and be uncool?
Virtual Assassin Can the heroic ex-cop battle cyber-powered villain with Billy Idol hair?
Voodoo Black Exorcist Can a voodoo reanimate a corpse into a mummy that is unexorciseable?
Voyage to the Planet of the Prehistoric Women Can astronauts tangle with Venusian women in another movie?
Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet Can a planet have dinosaurs and be a Soviet sci-fi movie?


W

Warning From Space Can Starfish aliens help save Earth from a meteor collision?
Warriors of the Wasteland Can a guy in a hot rod get revenge against his old post apocalyptic gang?
Wasp Woman Can wasp royal jelly be the greatest cosmetic in a pre-Botox era?
Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory Can a mysterious werewolf be caught before wiping out a reform school?
Werewolf of Washington Can the Washington DC politicians handle politics and a werewolf?
Werewolf Vs Vampire Women Can our intrepid werewolf find peace and stop the vampire woman, too?
Werewolf Woman Can the world endure the lycanthropic equivalent of Sudden Impact?
White Gorilla Can a White Gorilla find peace in a jungle of stock footage of animals?
White Pongo Can an expedition tracking a gorilla not be made a monkey of?
White Warrior Can Hercules defeat the evil Russians in a movie that inspired Braveheart?
White Zombie Can the newlyweds battle the Voodoo Master Bela Lugosi?
Wild Wild World of Batwoman Can Batwoman and her flock stop the maniacal Rat Fink?
Wild Guitar Can Arch Hall Jr not get ensnared into the unscrupulous music industry?
Wild Women of Wongo Can Mother Nature bring the Wongo Women to Goona guys?
Wraith Can the ghost driver of a Dodge Interceptor hunt down his killers?


Z

Zaat Can a scientist turn themselves into a mutant killer fish and not be mad?
Zardoz Can Sean Connery not be embarrassed by giant stone heads?
Zeram Can Iria, the bounty hunter, stop the alien killing machine, Zeram?





 -  Index  -  Reviews  -  Rants  -  Links